Thursday, November 26, 2009

I've been sitting here trying to figure out a title to this blog and I realised I really can't put a name to what I want to say so I guess I'll just go with the flow.
A friend of mine is very much involved in a guy, they are seeing a whole lot of themselves and though she says they are not dating, I do not have a better word to describe what they have going on. They spend loads of time in the car parked right in front of her house, at other times they are in a restaurant not too far from her house. At any material time they are never more than a 2 mile radius from her house. I asked her why they were 'always' in the car and she threw the question back at me. Long after she fell asleep it had me thinking.. what does dating really entail.I started thinking up scenarios.
The guy lives alone and the chic lives with her parents right? so they both get back from work around 7 pm( let's say both parties work on the island) .. ok so after work where do they meet?
  1. Do they meet in the girl's house? in her living room with her parents sitted, all watching "network news" (me thinks there would be alot of akward moments plus no 'chance' for kissing and canoodling) Also, what do you do for food? Do you eat dinner made in the chic's house, by the mummy, the younger ones, or the househelp? Do you sit in the living room after work every day and get asked "Uncle Yemi, we made beans and plantain this night, would you like me to dish you some?"
  2. Do they sit in the car? and neck all night long? how much of talking can they do in the car 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year!! ( argggghhhh!!)
  3. Do they go out from one 'joint' to another? Eating, cinema, bar hopping, throw in a little karaoke, a little opera or the random stage play or the other odd thing.
Take for instance both the chic and the guy live in their respective parents' houses, do you sit and bond with the guy's family ( and this is the dating stage oh.. not the girlfriend forming-ive been married into the family- you just dont know it yet -sort ooo) do you sit in the living in room and help guy's mum do her zipper? and remember if you are there too long one day you will hear " Erm, Lande dear, please quickly boil rice for Zachary and Peter, I'm running late for the Women's league meeting"
Meanwhile on a totally unrelated note, so on tuesday at work, a colleague of mine brouht out her lunch, very nice looking jollof rice, we all commented that the rice was nice o, and we all asked where she got it from, she said "From home" . Me and my big mouth, i proceeded to ask ( knowing she stays with her brother) "does your brother have a cook?" and next thing she says "Yes!!" Then she says "my brother's girlfriend, she cooks now, she cooks for my brother and I now so is she not a cook?" Ah.. I was shocked, honestly if na me be the chic, one day i go put rat poison inside the younger sister food true!! imagine calling her brother's girlfriend a cook because the poor girl is nice enough to make the odd dinner or 2.
Anyway, back to my problem of what dating entails.
I think it would be better for all parties if the guy lives alone right? so if he lives alone you can just go and hang in his house right? and avoid all the drama of where we stay, and what we do where! Because really, the 'toasting' stage with the phone calls and all start to wear thing after you guys start dating proper and then what???
What does dating entail?? Sitting in the car, or in the house? whose house? where will the parents be?do you chill in the guy's room? is the home flexible enough to allow visitors into the bedrooms? if you decide to chill in the living room then, will other family members get up and leave you two love birds to just be............
Or will you in the case of somepeople go from place to place to place to place, every night leaving your 'regulars' mark on every footmat!

Please explain to me.

Monday, November 23, 2009


I was going to type this yesterday ( sunday) morning because the subject of my rant had just happend and I was angry.. but seeing as I was on my way to church I felt, "not let the venom spil your time of worship with the Lord" oh so I let it pass. Offcourse as I drove to church I thought about it all the way and I kept telling myself .."let it go"

Ok so I officially hate any of my friends that is in a happy-oh goodie-he makes my feet tingle- bloody -happy relationship right now!

It's bad enough that I do not have a man , I mean do you have to rub my "alone-ness" in my face?
3 things have happend in the last 1 month that have made me feel this way, because normally I'm perfectly happy with my life and I normally am not bothered about man or lack of being in a relationship, for me being with my brother and sister-in-law ( the sum total of my human relationship scale), being with my laptop, with fast internet and a TV series which wont end anytime soon helps, and offcourse a once a week update of gossip is just enough to keep me rolling ..( Dont ask about the sex part jare.. I get on just fine!!)
Anyway so what happend, one day I was sitting at my desk in the office and my colleague comes to check something by my computer and she turns and asks me " Do you have a boyfriend" (yes she is in one .. so u know they love to display their ebulience and overjoy..i digress forgive me) to which I answered.. " no" She had this shocked look on her face like i just poured hot sticky 'amala' on her face.
Colleague: You are joking right
Me: No, do i look like a clown to you ( at this point i was getting ready to say.. ermm oya come and be going ooo)
Colleague: Erm but you have someone that is chasing you now *snorty laughter follow*
Me: ** with the straightest of experessions so i dont get another ' you are joking'*** No i dont have anyone "chasing" me.
Thinking she would know to drop it... ah.. I was wrong she proceeded with another aghast ( for lack of a better way to describe it) look..
Colleague: WHY?????

At this point I had to make a mental note to rant .. but I did not. I smiled and I said, well i dont know why?? and I changed the topic.

Incident 2.
I went to my friend's house and I saw her sister.. also my friend. ( recently 'acquired' a boyfriend as I have been given to the impression that there is a store where these things are picked up and I am simply refusing to navigate myself and SJ there to grab a copy). So my friend's sister, lets call her TY proceeds to regale me on the 'beautifulness'( for lack of a better word) of the world since she met her man. Yes let me quickly give you a quick background into YT.. abi na TY i wan call am sef.. ehen!
TY and I are about the same age and both manless( at some point ) anyway, so now life is all pink and yellow ooo since the advent of this boy. I really dont mind your happiness.. really I dont ( maybe if i say really many times you will believe me right) but what i mind is you letting me not get a word in edgewise about any other thing.. I mean we were watching Phoebe and Joey fool around and everything they did brought up how Mr. Sunshine was this and that. It took all my strenght not to grab a bucket to puke in.
Really I'm not hating but if you are happy..we don hear na.. I mean I knew in the first 45 minues of her speech that the guy was awesome, fabulous, this that.. ok na e don do!!!!! I had to leave earlier than normal, it was that bad, I did not mind sitting in traffic and listening to radio and having 'gala' traders poke their merchandise in my face.
Happy people can be so irritating and insensitive sometimes jare!!

Incident 3
On Saturday I asked my friend who by the way is in an undefined 'relationship' if she would come with me to see my cousin in NYSC Camp oo, to which she willingly agreed. So on sunday morning i send her a text asking if we should go for 8 am services in our respective churches so we can have the day to go to iyana-ipaja, to which she replies..... argghh im so angry just rememebreing it now that I dont think I can even tell you guys her reply. In short she made alternative plans with her man ( and she was not even curteous enough to tell me that I'd been bumped for a man)and she now asked if she could come after all her waka...
Kpshewww.. I was just angry. It made me realise, girls are so undependable when they are in relationships and they want you to cry with them when the men leave them abi??
I was really angry. I know I know i sound like a hater.. but really....why can't I come before the boy.. and guess what they were doing? they were going to goto church together? I mean come oooooonnnnnn( im really screaming as i type this!!!!!) Did you not know you were planning to go to church with your man before agreeing to hang with you lonely ass friend???

Anyway.. please no one should come near me and tell me they are happy manwise ooo... because if they do honestly I can say something incredibly rude!!

Ehen, on a totally unrelated note, there's this boy whom i know who was nagging me on saturday on what I planned to do all day to which I replied "nothing" and he said.. "dont u have chores?"
I said "Chores bawo?, what sort of chores"
Man: House chores now, washing your clothes, cleaning your house, washing your car"
Me: No house chores, i clean my house regularly i dont wait for an even, my clothes are at the lanudry, Hart in the office will wash SJ on monday and the dogs have been fed by Tope
Man: Na wa for you oo u no even wan do anything na everything you don pay for

Abeg oo.. someone should help me ask the man if it his money I used to do those things and if he believes it makes me less of a "good woman" to know how to create employment opportunities for people.After all dont people send their agreements my way to review??

yeye people in this annonying world!!

Have a nice week oh jare correct peeps in blogville!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Smoking Joe

So Smoking Joe is the name my office people have given a nice "guy" that has been helping me get to work. This "guy" is a red Mazda 626 ,1986 model. It is a 2-door coupe which has been in my family for years. As in............yearrrrrrrz!So the car was a "house" car and then my sister used it and then finally the baton was passed to me. Smoking Joe ( hereinafter referred to as SJ) does not actually "smoke" but well it just seemed like a fit name for the car.
Every week SJ has an issue i have to deal with, either the clutch plate or the brake, or the kickstarter.... I mean something just has to go wrong with SJ. Sometimes SJ is so ill It has to be on admission. Weeks with the mechanic, and then it comes back with a different illness. SJ is really old, it needs to be put down, but how can I put it down when I have no replacement. I mean, SJ has its uses oo. For instance, sundays, going to church is made possible by SJ, if perhaps i want to hang out with friends, offcourse ill need a ride home afterwards? SJ is there. Ofcourse sometimes I have to park far away 'cos SJ is just so darned ugly. I mean the bumper is being held together by some flimsy wires.
Recently, I bought speakers to make the ride manageable and endurable, seeing as their is no airconditioning and I drive for long stretches at a time. At least some music to bop my head to helps.
So you all know what my christmas wish is right???

If i have to spell it out then maybe you should not be reading my blog ooooo...............

Have a lovely weekend peeps!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Essential Or Accessory

Often i wonder, what does it all mean
To be a part of something true and real
What does it mean to be an integral part of it
I have come to realise that it would not work if im not in it
I am an essential part of it.
Because of me, there is a balance in my home
Because of me, there is a balance in my work place
Because of me, it hasnt fallen to pieces
What does it mean to be an accessory,
I am an enhancer, i am merely an appendage
True, I make the substance more beautiful
But oh well... surely i am not indispensible
Am i the source of the balance? or am i?
Just an accessory to the balance in place.
Will i be missed sorely?
Am i dispensible?
Am i an essential or an accessory.
It is important to realise that u can never be one of these at every material time
To one u may be an essential and to another u may be an accessory
It doesnt make it all bad.. No, it merely emphasizes the diversity in the world.
To each his own.
All that matters is that in whatever role you are playing, be good at it.
A neccessary Essential, a neccesary Accessory

Monday, November 9, 2009

Dichotomy of faith and confidence

On the 13th of October, I was sitting in my office around 8.30pm, waiting for the traffic in lekki to reduce and I got a phone call. One of those phone calls that you keep rememebering and wish never came, you look back and wish you never ever have to receive the sort, ever ever again. My friend called to tell me my cousin was in an accident and he had been taken to the hospital. I asked "Is he alright?" and I was told he was fine. I made the neccesary phone calls to alert my other family members and then I got another phone call.." Er... Ayoola has been in a 'fatal' accident" I grew cold all of a sudden, i mean, when you hear "fatal" right... you know its all over.. My head was spining, why did my friend tell me he was "fine" does he not know the meaning of "fatal"? i mean.."fatal" and "fine" can never be in the same sentence. This was not good at all. I was sick with fear, I was praying speaking in tongues and shaking. I still had to drive from lekki to the hospital in Ikeja where I was told he had been taken to. It was not an easy ride. I am naturally a worry-wart. I had absolutely no idea of what I was going to meet in the hospital, I had no idea whom amongts my family had gotten there and who had not, I had no idea who to call without aggravating any one further. I had only one place to turn to........... GOD. I prayed. I spoke in tongues, I made promises to God, HE must have had a laugh. I was weak, cold and hot at the same time. I could not get to the hospital soon enough.
My cousin is only 23. He is one person in my family that is just absolutely reliable. He's so young and so kind, he has a pure heart, a heart of Gold. He would do ANYTHING for me and I for him.
The morning before the accident, he made fun of me that he was back in his Ikeja office and I had to go to Lekki when he had only to get on a bike to work. He was about to eat "agege bread" before I headed out of the house. The next time I saw him was in the hospital. His head was the size of a soccer ball and he was unconscious. His leg was broken, and a multiple skull fracture.
He was on a bike home and he was hit. The bike rider died immediately. My boy was alive, found by someone who decided to look carefully at the body in the gutter, he was found twitching.
Today is 4 weeks since the accident and he has made a tremendous recovery. God has been faithful.
I had to hang on to God, I was walking in only faith because y'all know what a head injury is right???his head was pretty bashed in.I prayed so hard, I was praying at every thought, I was soliciting prayers left right and center. I was having faith. I held on to God( I still am holding on to God). But then I noticed something happend to me, with every news of improvement I heard or saw, I stopped praying, I did not notice at the time, but I reduced the fervency of my prayers, I started having confidence.
Then one day, my cousin told me she went there and he had started talking but a bit of what he was saying was incoherent.........
I remembered God.
I felt so terrible. I had stopped grasping on to faith, and I had started believing in the medicine of it all. I started beleieving the Doctor's reports and the scans, I forgot that it was the same doctors that told us that.." all you need to do now is to pray".
It was then i realised that there was a big big difference in the approach to these things. Faith according to the Bible is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
I had stopped having faith, and I was sorry. I repented of my unbelief and I told God that any confidence I have now, should be in what HE had done and what HE had told me HE was going to do, not the scans, not the x-rays.

This faith business however, is not easy oo.. no, it's a struggle a battle against your own mind. Your mind and education and enlightenment is telling you that someone whose head is bashed in can never regain his full senses, it's telling you he will be a retard, but when God puts a word of comfort in your heart, that just settles it, and you knwo the kick of it, God sometimes shows you HE means what he says, he shows you that when you go to hospital again, Ayoola knows "Nathan Petrelli" and knows that "Victor Esan" was his classmate in Airforce Secondary School.
So I'm not going to worry any more, because I'm holding on in faith,I am going to hold on to God's promises, I remain hopeful that Ayoola will walk out of the hospital, of sound mind and body, I have faith that this healing will be complete. I have faith that God will make me a better person, hopeful that each day, I shall learn something new from life's experiences, new things that would remind me on the need to be totally and utterly dependent on God.

I'm going to put confidence in self to the backseat, and I am going to walk in faith and not by sight!

Have a good week people and have faith, it may be hard, but it will keep a spring in your step!