Saturday, March 13, 2010

Date Rape

First of all, I need to understand the concept of 'hanging-out' .. Seriously, how is going to a bar, club, with no lights and lots of noise, people milling around a form of relaxation after a busy day at work? How?
So last night, I went out with a guy I'd been speaking to on the phone but had never met, we were supposed to hook up last night after work. Being the wet blanket that I am, my friends and colleagues challenged me to go, and do something besides lying on my bed and watching 'Greys Anatomy' and 'Brothers & Sisters' (which by the way is my ideal idea of fun... sue me!!!)
So last night, I went out with ... let's call him 'Callistus' ( lol.. he's Ibo by the way so in a round about sort of way that name is apt ne pas?) Anyway, I digress! So Callistus and I went to a bar somewhere on the Island. I was very conscious of the fact that I live on the mainland, I do not have a car and they lock the gate to my street at 10pm.. did i mention that i was very tired? ok well, Callistus lives on the Mainland too so I figured he'd drop me off. Well, we left the bar at 2 am in the morning ( and yes, i was sitting down and just waiting for the hours to go so I could go home and sleep)

So, we left and I could not go home, so i ended up sleeping over at Callistus'.. this was fine up untill 5 am this morning when he decided he wanted a lil' som'n som'n. So was I ready to put out for Callistus? Hell to the Nizzle ( as my colleague IB would say!) I mean, dude, i literally just met you, how would you think I was gonna say 'hey baby.. hump on'
It brought my mind back to when I was in Uni, and when my friends were going out, my first fear would always be 'where would sleep?'.. since Unilag gate closes at midnight but my friends always said.. oh they'd sleep in the house of whomever took them out. Times when I followed however, i found that the patron would always try to get a load of the goods.. and i actually thought it had something to do with my huge mammaries.. I realise today that my friends lied... all that time they lied.. cos Callistus took it for granted that I was gonna get into a bump and grind with him. Then he asked me this retarded question.."are u a virgin?" Dude... do I have to be a virgin to know I dont wanna sleep with you? I mean, everytime a guy assumes I'm a virgin cos I dont wanna do it with him. Mister man, has it occured to you that I just don't wanna screw you? I mean, can a girl not have choices?
So, 2 lessons learnt.. none of that 'hanging out' things, If my friends like, let them say I'm single because I dont go out.. na them sabi.. if they like, they should say it's McDreamy that will come and marry me from inside the TV.. na dem sabi.. no more of this hanging out business... I said 2 lessons right? secondly, never go home with a guy you are not ready to put it out for, it does not matter if he is a goody two-shoes, as long as he's got a penis, then stay the hell away from his home if you do not intend to do him.


Date Rape


I don't know how much of what happend I should share, but I need to get it out there. I need to let people understand the concept of Date Rape. I feel that the more people know, the more educated we would be.
I feel people are less sympathetic to the issue of rape when it seems you've been on a date with the rapist!
I always said that if I ever found myself in a situation where I was about to be raped, I'd say to the rapist, 'oya look, im not struggling. just do what you want to do.. and don't hurt me' However, faced with the same situation with the man I went on a date with last night I could not say that, I was scared,and too repulsed to even say anything like that.. I could not even imagine it. I struggled and writhed and screamed and nothing happend. I was pinned down by the weight of his body and his hands held mine down. With his teeth, he scratched and bit me... I struggled, I was scared.. I kept playing back the events of the night before and asking.. 'ye.. see wetin the words of people don do u oo...' and if u tell them now oo.. they will sya 'ehen, why did u go na' it just felt so wrong so unfair.. and all the while, he kept saying... "why are u behaving like a 15 year-old! Ah... It was horrible. I was badly bruised. He was unable to get into my VJay-jay, but he kept knocking around because I was writhing and struggling. I am bruised, abused and violated.

Who do I report a date rape to? As he drove me home, I said to him, you violated me, my trust and everything and he said.. listen to this please...' why na.. why would you say that' Dude.. raped me as far as i was concerned, but am I a part of the complicity? I don't know.
Am I going to go out with anyone anytime soon?


Hell to the Nizzle!!!!

6 comments:

  1. Oh MY GOD!!!

    I totally agree with you. The hell=oh=hell probably thought that you had fallen for him for staying at his place.

    I think it's more of a case of 'near rape'. Thankfully, the dude didn't succeed. Please find the strength to return to your normal life!

    Bless xoxo

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  2. OMG! OMG! OMG! Are u for real? But i'm smacking u frm here and hopin u feel it, why would follow stupid Calistus in the first place? I jus smacked u again. He's such a bastard, idk wat to say sef, im so mad! and yes u shldnt listen to ur friends all the time (who are they sef, shd smack em too) u cldnt meet stranger in broad day light abi? still the prick (pun intended) deserves all the smacks down there, He's mad! where did u knw him frm sef...infact i need to stop venting. will catch u online.
    PS: i'm sorry and grateful that it didnt pass be careful sha. *Hugs*

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  3. @NakedSha The thing is, he was not even coming unto me like romantically.. he was actually forcing me.. holding me down and all! argghhh... **goosebumps @ the memory**

    @Neo I'm double smacking myself too. Is it not Moni who keeps saying 'husband wont come and marry u in ur fathers house'?
    Wo any husband that can not come and meet me here with my 'Brothers&Sisters' and my 'Greys Anatomy' should please be going!
    No more men abeg!

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  4. p.s, broad daylight does not stop violence... this assault was between 5 am and 8 am!

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  5. I'm so sorry about this jare. Thank God, it's a lesson learned.

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  6. Just let me get my hands on the maga!
    You must send me his details and when next I get to town I can pay him a visit

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