Monday, March 2, 2009

These things we do

Being single evokes a lot of feelings in me. This is partly because a lot of times I am thinking about how to get married, when to get married, why am I not even married!!! blah blah bla... and so the thoughts go on! Then somewhere along the line I ask myself, " So when you are married gaan sef, what do u now want to do" then I reply myself and say " then I can start my life"
But the truth is not a lot of women who get married have the desired effect they hope marriage will give, not a lot of women actually "start" their life in that sense and this is because women marry for various reasons.

Some marry to escape the pressures of their father's houses and end up finding out that men are the same everywhere, whether they are your parents or they are your husband! They are just "lords" in their own homes.
I have heard scary tales of men that beat their wives,men who are downright lazy and have just no ambition that you have to keep carrying them along, men that leave their wives for no reason, men who get drunk consistently, men who have absolutely no regard for their spouses!!!
Ah these men are everywhere, their ages range from 25 to 75..Yes!!! they are everywhere!!
I dont know the specie of men i fear the most; the one that has no ambition, or the one that has too much of it and will try to push me farther than I can go.
Then I stop and think, there are those women who get married because they are getting old.. yes I said the dreaded word " OLD" and they just need companionship. They envision a man growing old with them and holding their hand as they walk through the sands of time. But pray tell, what is companionship with a man who will never stay at home, or when he is home he drives you to your wits end!!!! Will it not be better if you were alone?
What about men that will not help around the house? they are the ones who cry the loudest that they want you to give them children and they are the ones who do not lift a finger in the work that comes with raising children??
Why do we do these things?
I know of a man who has refused to learn how to drive. You may think this is not a great issue but it is. It is such a big deal. How on earth will a man not be able to drive his family to places?????It just plain rattles me. There is something about getting behind the wheels and driving, it speaks of taking charge, it speaks of giving direction, it speaks quite loudly of what position the man has chosen to take in the family. He is more comfortable in the passenger's seat while "madam" ferries him and his children across the city.
So what happens when they are at a party and they need their car to be moved, then "madam" gets up to go and move her car out of the way??? It is just so unacceptable in our culture. Do you know what society is going to classify the woman as ? it will be said of her that she has 'used' the head of that man.. meanwhile no one is using any one's head.. the man is just plain lazy and doesn't wanna learn how to drive!!!!!
Please man who does not drive and has refused to learn, don't sit there in the passenger's sit and teach me how to maneuver the car from left to right or my head would just explode!!!!!!
So these things we do, wishing for men, wishing they would marry us, wishing they would stay with us... why do we do them??
Why do we wish for what may invariably shorten our lifespan?
We seek the ever so elusive "few good men" and when we dont find them we settle for the next best thing!
Because for whatever it is worth we need them for there to be balance, ( annonying though it may be) there is something in the touch of a man you loved( or have chosen to love) that makes you forget his inadequacies.Why is this so?
Don't ask me.. i don't claim to have all the answers!

A friend once wrote that she would like to have only sons, because she wants to be responsible for bringing some good men into the world. I laughed when i read it but I realised that in a way, our men are all flawed and it was our duty as mothers and mothers-to-be to bring up nice and decent men. Yes, good, decent,responsible men!

1 comment:

  1. My dear you can write o. as an erudite lawyer you have covered all the bases, but fortunately or unfortunately i cannot resist a blank comment space (as you already know to your peril!). the truth is the only fear we have to fear is the fear of fear itself, whether it be the fear of a lonely life or a wrathful strife, but at the end of the day taking the fullest out of each day is the best way to go about it. and when God is on our side, no weapon... take kia dear, catch ya elsewhere