tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62471711736491856342024-03-13T16:37:31.141+01:00Here,There and BackHome and Hearth for The Writer, A.Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-60298020835449865212016-07-27T23:24:00.001+01:002016-12-11T19:33:47.917+01:00The Thing About Being Clexane's Sister<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The thing about being Clexane's sister is neither here nor there. It is not a thing that can be easily summed up because it is this hydra-headed being that I have to live with. No, it is not Clexane himself that is the hydra-headed thing... no no. It is the several iterations of his presence in my life as my immediate older brother.
All my life, I've had to look at him, and up to him as the example to follow. Even when he was not the best example, he was simply the perfect one for me.
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Today, my brother turns 40; and even though we were raised by parents who constantly drummed it into our heads "Birthdays are no achievements" I can't shake it out of my head that THIS is a frigging big deal.
When one of your brothers dies at 37, you begin to see life in a completely different light. You start counting every second of your future because you know, I mean really really know, that there really isn't a tomorrow. So you treat every day like a gift that it is...
But before I start sliding down that slippery slope of corny bullshit, let me tell you some awesome and not terribly awesome thing about my brother, Tunji, and why the fact that it's his 40th birthday makes me want to bust a move.<br />
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One day, when I was a little doting sister, Tunji called me and said let's play a game. He held up two batteries and said, 'you lick one. I lick the other'. Simple game right? And I wouldn't have passed up any opportunity to hang out with my brother, but I was slightly untrusting, so I said, you go first. So he did - pressed his tongue. Nothing happened. So, I followed suit and stuck my tongue, without restraint or hesitation on the battery he handed me. The shot of electricity that went through me was unbelievable. By the time I recovered, I looked over at where my assailant was standing, (or rather, doubled over) in laughter. He laughed and laughed and laughed.
That day, I learned two lessons. Don't just take anything someone hands you, hook line and sinker - ask questions, test it, check again, check again until you're absolutely sure.
The second lesson was learning the difference between a 12 volt and a 9 volts battery.
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The thing about being Clexane's sister is understanding that he actually cares. I can clearly state without a doubt that my brother loves me. As weird as it sounds since we fought all the time. I always believed he always had my back. I was so heavily reliant on him that the one time he didn't, I found myself drowning - saved only by the realisation that life isn't like that. Life is swim or sink. So, I swam, and he was there at shore, waiting to haul me in. Proud.
But how did I become so heavily dependent on my brother? When I went away to Ilorin, he was there. At the time, he was doing a remedial program to get into Uni at my secondary school, so I got to see him regularly. By the time he got admitted to University of Ilorin, he always came to see me at the home I was staying. When he didn't get a chance to come to the house, he would stop by my school - armed with an envelope of crisp 100 Naira notes. My brother ALWAYS gave me money. Who shares their measly pocket money with a sister who was getting her own? Yup... Clexane!<br />
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When I worried about the fact that I had not chosen the subjects to register for my SSCE, he swiftly advised me to drop Yoruba, and use the space for something more useful. At the time, there was a threat that if you didn't do at least one Nigerian language, your results won't be released. My brother told me (in less colourful terms) that it was a truck load of horse dung.
He was right.
I watched him graduate from University and get his Microsoft Certification in the most impressive way. He studied like he was being chased by the demon of poverty. He has this incredible thirst for success. I have never seen him fail at anything he sets his heart to. Engineering. Attempting ACCA, then Project Management. Haaa, he is dogged (and annoying) and... okay hold on, let me address the annoying bits.<br />
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Right after secondary school, I was enrolled for the Cambridge A-Level exams. When the results came out, I failed resoundingly. The failure was epic! I cried so hard that my parents said okay no point crying, come and attempt it again. So, they registered me in another prep school which was twice as expensive as the first one. I sat on my bed grateful for a second chance... just so grateful. Guess who came in to shatter my recently found peace? Yup! Tunji.
"I hope you know the money they're using to pay for this your second round could have been used to buy Mummy a new car"
Those words resonated through me that year till I passed the exams in flying colours.
Talk about tough love.
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But love me he does. As brash and as troublesome as he is. And he really is troublesome. I have just learned to tune him out when he gets too much.
When people complain to me about how he stresses them out, or how he calls them incessantly to follow up on a project or an assignment, I laugh. They haven't learned the art of filtering him out.
You take the good.
You leave the wahala.
You remember he has a good heart.
Because at the bottom of all of his nuances, his crase, his dogma, is his heart. His good good, underrated heart.
I have watched him grow into family life. Caring about his wife and kids and knowing that they come first.
I have watched him change from a super arrogant, self-assured cocky "I can do it by myself" guy to this cool patient person who observes in silence.
Recently he was in a group chat with some people and someone went off on him. When my friend told me about this encounter, I asked, "What did Tunji say in response?"
Expecting to hear how he answered the person fire for fire, I was laughing. My friend said "Clexane didn't say anything".
I didn't believe. Maybe she didn't know who she was talking about. So I asked him. "Ngbo, some Ilorin people were insulting you on WhatsApp. What did you say?"
He said "nothing."
Me: "Nothing ke?"
Him: "Wo, I don't have time to be going back and forth with people who choose to revel in ignorance"
I was shocked. Who was this mature guy suddenly taking the high road.
Yup! Clexane!
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So what is it about being Clexane's sister?
It is knowing that you have this guy who is always there for you. This guy who has known you all your life - flaws, strengths, joys, who will always give you advice. (Whether I take it or not. Lol . He still gives it, because he just can't leave his baby sister to drive herself inside gutter.)
I have met people who've seen me and screamed... "You're Clexane's sister" and sometimes I don't know whether to hide or to say errr, yes! But we look so strikingly alike there's really no hiding.
I'm so happy he is turning 40. I am sure I'm happier than him gan sef...
I have been waiting for this day for three years!
In my head, if he can make it till 40... he would have done something magnificent for me. Because, after Sage died, I was on a permanent watch for Tunji's life.
A few month's after Sage left us, I saw some pills on the counter in Tunji's kitchen and I went full panic mode. Google. Pills ke? Is he sick? how long has he been sick? Didn't he plan to tell me? Are they hiding something from me?
Doctor Google didn't make it easier for me. I was afraid to ask the owner of the pills, because I didn't want to be called a worrywart. So, I started looking for excuses to visit all the time. I believed that if I had my eyes on him regularly, he won't just die on me and leave me empty.
And he didn't die. He is still alive. And today, he is 40.
He is alive thousands and thousands of miles away from me , with a 17-hour time difference. But he is alive. I can pick up my phone and hear his voice. I can call him on Skype and see his gloriously full head of hair (Which I remain eternally jealous of) I can pick up my WhatsApp and read his chats. And just knowing that he is there, as he always has been for me... is EVERYTHING.
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Birthdays are no achievements, someone said. That person lied. Your birthday is a BIG DEAL!
I love you to eternity, Adetunji TaiWAN! Lol Lol
If I could choose another brother, I'd choose you over and over and over and over again. My life would be boring and uneventful without someone who fights with me, (used to buy me phone credit! Dammit! I hate being an adult now.) argues with me, worries about me, believes he always knows better than me, (lol even though I'm a pretty smart cookie) believes in me, and ultimately loves me.<br />
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Happy birthday, to the one who will never let us take pictures together without him scowling.
Happy birthday to the one who derived joy from always scaring me shitless.
Happy birthday to the one whose happiness over my successes fills me with so much warmth, I start to think, maybe I'm not so bad.
Happy birthday to the 'tall' one in the family. Lol Country of the blind tingz.
Happy birthday my darling. Words can never quantify how I feel about you. Crazy and all.
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-2761367965535140532016-03-10T15:58:00.001+01:002016-03-10T15:58:10.006+01:00Summer Days and Dark Clouds<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a data-mce-href="http://www.atoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Atóké_favicon.png" href="http://www.atoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/At%C3%B3k%C3%A9_favicon.png" rel="attachment wp-att-66"><img alt="Atóké_favicon" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-66" data-mce-src="http://www.atoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Atóké_favicon.png" height="32" src="http://www.atoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Atóké_favicon.png" style="float: left; height: auto; margin: 0.5em 1em 0.5em 0px; max-width: 100%;" width="32" /></a>The traffic on Ajose was murder. She left the office at 5pm on the dot and even though she knew that was the peak of rush hour she felt she had a head start. An hour later and she'd barely moved 10 feet past her office. She was frustrated. She turned on the radio but the noise from the radio advert jingles didn’t help to ease the tension she felt. This was not going well at all, she looked at the time on her dash board 18:15 and she was still heading to Oju Olobun. She had let the driver go today because she was meeting up with Dipo and they decided there was no point in having both drivers and both cars today since they'd be going home together. She kept punching at the radio dials and it was like the universe was somehow determined to make this trip to meet up with her husband hell. She got tired of looking for good music and slipped in an Asa CD. As the music filled the car, her mind drifted to her loving husband who was tired of the overly hectic schedule they both had.</div>
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"When was the last time we went out together, just us. No obligation to friends or family, just us having a good time".</div>
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"No time nah! When do we want to do that? “She had replied as she kissed him that morning and told him they would plan something soon.”Not this weekend though! We have prayer breakfast on Saturday morning and you know Iyke and Bimpe's baby's christening is in the afternoon. I don't want to become enemy of the state if we don't go abeg".</div>
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"Na wa oh! So we've become those people who just live under the same roof and don't spend time together. I didn't sign up for this oh" He was laughing when he said it but the way he avoided her eyes told her he wasn't happy. She wasn't happy either but they led busy lives. She walked back to where he was standing by the wardrobe and held him from behind "Darling, we can do brunch at Southern Sun after church on Sunday ok?" she pressed her cheek into the back of his crisp ironed shirt. He smelt so good. She knew she had to leave now or she'd be late for work.</div>
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"I really gotta go now. Speak to you later?"</div>
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So when he'd called to say they should meet up after work today, she knew it was important to him. All she really wanted to do was go home, have a warm shower, sink into the covers and sleep. She’d been having terrible stomach cramps all day and had winced in pain as she ate her lunch. This had been going on for a while now. The pain came intermittently but they always stopped after a while. They were akin to menstrual cramps but she couldn't be too sure since she didn't have them too often. She cranked up the volume of the music player and started singing along, something, anything to distract her from the sharp pain that was coming from within her. She was going to do everything within her to make sure this dinner with her boo was totally enjoyable.</div>
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They had been married for three years and they were like two peas in a pod. Sometimes their friends teased them that they finished each other's sentences, they didn't even realise how much in sync they were.</div>
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They didn't have any kids; but Kauna, her late cousin's daughter, often spent her holidays with them. Initially it was because they needed to solidify their financial base before they had a child. Now, they were just waiting for it to happen. The prospect of a baby tickled Hadiza to no end. To raise a family with her best friend, the man she loved and cherished so much. They agreed that if they had a boy he would be called Ethan, and if they had a baby girl, she would be called Emmanuella.</div>
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As she drove into the empty parking slot in front of Yellow Chilli, she looked at the clock 07.25. Over an hour just to get around the Island, her husband who'd come from the Mainland probably got here in 45 minutes. She sighed and wearily dragged her tired body out of the car. She felt the earth tilt slightly as she planted her feet on the ground but she held onto the car. She was dizzy. She needed to sit down and have a glass of water as soon as possible. She walked into the restaurant and quickly looked around for Dipo. She saw his head buried in a paper and smiled.</div>
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Life is a funny place. One minute it's a life of promise, hope and love; and the next it's dark and grey and bleak. At times, it’s like a roller coaster -- one second, you’re filled with excitement at the prospect of getting on; and the next, dread and trepidation fills your heart as you embark on the ride with its tumultuous turns and rapid bends. At other times it's just downright mean and vindictive, like surviving a plane crash and then being run over by a bus driver on your way home. If you were the praying sort, you prayed when the crisis hit and you wait for the avalanche of pain to pass, hoping that it leaves a minimal level of damage in its wake. Sometimes you look around you and it appears everyone else has it all rosy, but until they tell you their own story you don’t know they are on a life trip of their own, just masked as best as they can beneath pretty clothes and a beautiful smile.</div>
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He sat there in the waiting room, head bowed low. His face was buried in his hands masking the fear that coursed through him. It had been an exhausting 12 hours and he was not sure what lay ahead of them.</div>
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He had been waiting for her and the next thing he heard was noise, the restaurant peace had been disrupted. “Somebody get help, this woman has fainted oh!” He got up to find out what the problem was and to see if he could help. The feeling in his chest when he looked and saw Diza lying there was indescribable. It was fear, and concern and shock all rolled up forming a big lump in his chest. “Her name is Hadiza, and I am her husband” Nobody asked him, too many people were trying to help pick her up and put her in a car, any car to get her to the hospital, any hospital. He was nervous and it was hard not to show it. Someone took his keys from his hands “sir, I think you should just stay in the back with her, I will drive. Do you have a hospital of choice? Or should we take her to the general hospital in Marina”</div>
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“Our hospital is Reddington. Please take us to Reddington” The trip to the emergency room was a blur; he held her hand and kept praying, willing her to open her eyes. It didn’t happen. He felt for a pulse, it threaded weakly beneath her skin. He needed her to be alright, he tried to will her awake, he bargained with God, he needed her more than anything and he was willing to trade his breath for hers.</div>
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He had been there in the waiting room for 12 hours. Two hours after trying to find out what was wrong came back with their diagnosis. Diza’s uterine wall was lined with fibroids and she had also been pregnant. It was an ectopic pregnancy. They needed his consent to take out the fibroids and if they needed to, take out the affected tubes. How was he supposed to take a decision about her body without her? How was this fair? How ironic that they were trying for a baby and now they had one he had to make the decision to take it all away, even worse, reduce her chances of bearing a child of her own</div>
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“Save her. Do all you can to save her”</div>
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Tears rolled down his face into his hands. He was tired and exhausted, but he knew the road ahead was long and bumpy. They tried to get him to go home but he wasn’t going to leave until he could talk to her. As if understanding his misery and pain one of the nurses from the night before tapped him on the shoulder “Oga, I think she’s awake now. You can see her. She is asking for you”.</div>
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Wearily dragging himself up, he walked in the direction of ward. He lacked the words to tell her that he’d given consent for her tubes to be taken out. The extent of the fibroids was also bad but the doctor had told him that they didn’t need a hysterectomy. She had a tired smile on her face when he walked in, and in a groggy voice she said “Baby you look so tired”</div>
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The lights in the room were turned off but the glare of television kept the room dimly illuminated. She heard when he opened the front door and she knew from habit that he‘d go into the kitchen to look for food. She instinctively picked up my cell phone to look at the time. 11.50pm. She closed her eyes and hurriedly put her phone under the pillow to avoid the backlight bringing attention to her side of the bed. She heard him bang across the rug towards the wardrobe, he was hanging his jacket. He was going to turn off the t.v and slide into bed. She had an acute sense of his every movement.</div>
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"I left some food for you in the oven. There's chicken wrapped in foil in the fridge"</div>
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"Thank you"</div>
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There was an awkward silence. There was always an awkward silence between them, that is why she preferred having the TV on. Something, anything to dispel the discomfort that had settled in their home. He sat up on the bed and stared straight ahead.</div>
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"Do you wanna talk?"</div>
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"No. I just want to sleep" He was trying to reach her and he was running out of ideas.</div>
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She had become so cold and distant. He thought staying away would help, it didn’t. She spoke little or no words to him at all. He was waiting for her to absorb the news, to fit it into their lives. He wanted her to become his once again. It was not happening. A week turned into a month and a month into two, and then a third. She blamed him; he knew she blamed him so he stayed away. Working as late as he could, knowing words failed him every time he tried. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her it didn’t matter, nothing mattered but her and their life together.</div>
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She heard the slight hum indicating he had fallen asleep and she opened her eyes. This feeling inside of her was not going anywhere; she nurtured it and allowed it to fester. It was the pain of loss and somewhere in here laid guilt. For the past three months, Dipo tried to reach her. He soothed her and she balked, he tried to calm her down whenever she got hysterical. He reassured her of his love over and over again.</div>
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“I love you with all my heart, baby or no baby. I swore to love and honour you, in sickness and in health. I love you, … you ‘Diza, just you”</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">
Tears of shame filled her eyes; he was totally selfless in his love for her, she wanted to hold him but she pushed him away and went into the room. She could tell he was at his wits end but she had created the wall and she didn’t know how to pull it down. She looked at her phone again to check the time, and she saw the message icon. A message from her mother</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">
<em>“Deez my love, I think it is only right and proper that you tell him the truth. We have carried this lie on for way too long and I admit I am ashamed of my complicity in this matter. I don’t want this to break you, and so I believe you should talk to Dipo. Stop pushing him away. His only concern is for you. I love you and I am always here for you”.</em></div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">
She blinked as she read the message. Tell Dipo the truth? Tell him that Kauna wasn’t her late cousin’s daughter living with her mom but her own child? Tell Dipo that she lied for so long and even continued lying? How did her mother expect her to save her marriage by telling her husband that she had a child but she would never bear one for him? She pulled the duvet over her head and wept. The truth held no promise for her.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">
____</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">
This story was originally written in 2011 and published on <a data-mce-href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2011/07/bn-prose-summer-days-cloudy-skies-by-aderonke-williams-adeosun/" href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2011/07/bn-prose-summer-days-cloudy-skies-by-aderonke-williams-adeosun/">BellaNaija.com</a></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-42369103569657122472015-11-14T23:55:00.001+01:002015-11-14T23:55:25.248+01:00Glasses Wearing, Natural-Haired Lover of Small Chops<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VsD0sFQtUf8/Vke7xv9qWKI/AAAAAAAAA7I/pOvjfIjldSQ/s1600/25537_10150174574190693_8186499_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VsD0sFQtUf8/Vke7xv9qWKI/AAAAAAAAA7I/pOvjfIjldSQ/s320/25537_10150174574190693_8186499_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">It wouldn't be accurate to
say we became friends at the Fidelity Bank Creative Writing workshop. It
happened after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did it happen?
Quietly and subtly... the way she approaches all things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena introduced herself as
Jill to the group,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but when she wrote
down her email address and I saw a familiar name, I asked her if she was Tiv.
She said yes and I started noticing her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Her stories stood out - well
written and thought out, and laced carefully with delightful strips of
humour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When asked to analyse other
stories, as is the norm at these workshops,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>she would quietly state her opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Never loud but not one to be overlooked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I would later discover that
it was not a front. That was who she was, and that is who she is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">In a little over three years,
Mnena has grown on me. She is ridiculously smart and witty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And on a scale of 1 to Hulk Type
Strength,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my friend is an Amazon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena is the feminist I
admire and want to be. She isn't afraid to face her frailties and uses her
strengths to her advantage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You won't
find her cowering in fear or self pity,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>but she isn't one to deny the things she cannot handle. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Today, while chatting about
someone we both make fun of, she said "Oh I think B* is very smart. She is
just dumb". That cracked me up so much, because only Mnena would describe
someone that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena is selfless. There are
so many times she has put other people before herself that I wonder if we who
are in her life realize the privilege it is to have her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena quietness is
reminiscent of a steel force. She uses it to her advantage too. You can never
see her coming. She takes things and runs with it... not fussy and not
dramatic. Mnena is who you should call if you need to bury a body. Her quiet
strength is what will keep you from freaking out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The only time I've seen her
freak out is when she got the invite to attend Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's
Creative Writing workshop in 2015. That was a collective best day of our
lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>CNA (or Shero as Mnena calls her)
comes only second to Hadley Freeman on my friend's list of 'people to meet
before I die'. So you can understand why my 'non squealing' friend nearly
passed out from excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena allowed me to share
that moment with her and I am truly grateful. But I think the best part of my
friendship with Mnena is our ability to argue, disagree seriously on issues and
come back to a mid point. I don't love Mnena because she agrees with me all the
time; I love her because I can count on her to tell me what she thinks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I love her because she isn't
afraid to take risks. I love her because she is brilliant and she takes
impressive financial decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Mnena isn't afraid of her
sexuality and owns her womanhood. She is a true representation of a strong,
smart and staunch woman. She doesn't pander to the whims of societal
expectations. In a society where everyone expects you to be of a certain
religious inclination,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my friend tells
you clearly - without fear - this is who I am. She isn't domestic and doesn’t
pretend to be. Mnena does not like injustice and is very vocal about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">She looks very nerdy and
reads a lot. ALOT! No, I'm not exaggerating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She reads a lot. It is no wonder that she is such a good writer... but
she never believes me when I tell her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">And because this is beginning
to sound like a eulogy,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to end
this here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But before I go, I must let
you know that Mnena doesn't like talking on the phone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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share my friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-41993420657084769362015-08-09T09:36:00.000+01:002015-08-09T09:36:26.540+01:00How to Find Yourself a Good Woman... or Something Like That<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b4p1whB6PC0/VccQ3DnnU0I/AAAAAAAAA38/3IFIgVWqMAk/s1600/DSC01125.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b4p1whB6PC0/VccQ3DnnU0I/AAAAAAAAA38/3IFIgVWqMAk/s320/DSC01125.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wrote this piece back in 2012 and it was published on WeRunThings. I was going through my portfolio of work and I found it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I'm not going to edit it, just so it can have a semblance of authenticity. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I hope you enjoy reading it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">****</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I spent the last week ruminating on
the veracity of <i>IK Osakioduwa’s</i> <span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/www\.bellanaija\.com\/2012\/09\/12\/the-secret-unleashed-tvradio-star-husband-father-of-2-ik-osakioduwa-reveals-ikstipstogettingaman-on-twitter\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><u><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/09/12/the-secret-unleashed-tvradio-star-husband-father-of-2-ik-osakioduwa-reveals-ikstipstogettingaman-on-twitter/" target="_blank">TipsToGettingAMAn</a></span></u></span>. I’ve also been trying
to find a Nigerian celebrity, who is, prima facie, happily married with 2 kids
(poster image of perfection), who would be willing to write <b><i>Ten Tips To
Getting and Keeping A Woman</i></b>. The fact that you’re reading this now,
means that I have been unsuccessful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I believe that there’s no such thing
as <b><i>“</i></b><i>One Size Fits All<b>“</b></i> especially with relationship
issues because of difference in personalities and backgrounds/upbringing. If
you don’t believe me, just check out the comments section of blogs and
websites…. it’s a riot! There is a truth to every comment… as true to the mind
of the writer as can be imagined. It might be a lie, but the person believes it
to be true and that is enough for the person.I really didn’t want to have to
write this because hey… what do I know about getting and keeping a woman?
Nobody has gotten me or kept me for that matter. So what qualifies me to write
this piece? I’ll tell you… NOTHING. Well, maybe not NOTHING! I have access
to this medium and I’m going to use it. Here goes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Atoke’s Tips For
Getting A Good Woman</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Learn To Do Solo Trips:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> There are so many good looking
guys with plenty “sweg” and a plethora of foreign accents out there; allow
the woman notice you. Roll alone, allow her assess your qualities without
all your men casting a shadow on your shine.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<ol start="2" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whether Na One Naira:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Someone said all a man needs
to have is money, to get a woman. Not entirely true, but no girl wants a
broke dude! Whether na one naira, have it and let it come in regularly. Girls
like to be pampered, whether with ‘Kristian Lobatan’ Shoes or by the real
deal Red Soles.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<ol start="3" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Reel In Your Relatives:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> There’s something to be said
for a man who can protect his woman from the onslaught of relatives. A guy
should learn to properly keep his nosy aunties and rude sisters away from
the girl. Nobody wants to start dealing with the challenges of in-laws
even before they get into the family. Massive turn off.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo4; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Champagne Popping & Raining
Benjamins:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> For
some reason, men believe that this is ALL a woman needs to see. Wrong! The
good woman wants a man who’s very good with managing his finances, she
needs to know you wont leave the bills unpaid for a weekend of fun with
your friends at the GrandPrix in Abu Dhabi.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<ol start="5" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo5; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be Neat & Well Dressed at
ALL times:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The
whole cave man look is so 1942! Please take time to shave, wear
antiperspirant and dress well. A good woman doesn’t want to have to deny
knowing you when she is in a gathering of her friends. Don’t make it more
difficult by being un-presentable.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo6; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be Respectable &
Respectful:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> A good
woman will have absolutely no problems submitting to a man who is
respectable and respectful. The odds wont really be in your favor if you
come into her house acting like an agbero. Picking a quarrel
with your gate man/ maid or even worse, hers…will earn you NO points.
Remember, respect begets respect (as cheesy as that sounds, it’s true)<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<ol start="7" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo7; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Learn to cook, Do yourself
a favor and learn how to cook:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> No really, really do LEARN to cook. Because,
assuming that knowing a woman’s knowledge of cooking automatically confers
her with all the wisdom of world is failure. More importantly, a good
woman becomes mush when her man whips up a meal. You don’t believe me? Go
check out the comments section on Chef Fregz’ posts on <b>BellaNaija</b>.
Dude gets women slathering after him every week.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<ol start="8" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Have Standards & Keep Your
Word:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Nobody wants a man who
says one thing and does the other. Really, have standards and let your
word be your bond.. That is all.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<ol start="9" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo9; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Read & Keep Yourself Well
Informed:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> It’s
not enough to be Tall Dark & Handsome, you have to have something in
between your ears. Imagine being at a business lunch and the topic of the
killing of the American Ambassador in Libya comes up and you have NO clue
what’s going on. Ignorance is not bliss. Keep yourself abreast of what’s
happening around you. It’s the least you can do.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<ol start="10" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo10; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Remember your frailties
as well as hers:</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> It’s
important that you remember that the same kind of blood that flows through
your veins, flows through hers. Whatever inadequacies you have, and have
to live by, the chances are that she has her own dose of inadequacies as
well and it is only in the constant remembrance of these frailties can you
get the girl of your dreams.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-90694900040946984402015-07-30T09:04:00.000+01:002015-07-30T09:04:09.890+01:00Atoke's Creative Writing Giveaway<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Om0C2b4aBkQ/VbnZ640cHqI/AAAAAAAAA3c/N4BlDCMMyEE/s1600/ACWG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Om0C2b4aBkQ/VbnZ640cHqI/AAAAAAAAA3c/N4BlDCMMyEE/s320/ACWG.jpg" width="274" /></a></div>
So, I decided to do this giveaway as the first step towards my plan for building a formidable generation of creative writers.<br />
<br />
Please follow this link to find out how to be a part of the competition <a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2015/07/29/win-a-pair-of-gbemisoke-shoes-perfume-oil-a-novel-in-atokes-creative-writing-competition/">http://www.bellanaija.com/2015/07/29/win-a-pair-of-gbemisoke-shoes-perfume-oil-a-novel-in-atokes-creative-writing-competition/</a><br />
<br />
If you're not a writer but like to read... well, there something there for you too. Go read the stories and tell us the ones that work for you.<br />
<br />
Cool?</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-16011584869178420502015-06-22T22:50:00.001+01:002015-06-22T22:50:34.519+01:00A Song for the Puppet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pkvfYFcm6zo/VYiCmWTGkBI/AAAAAAAAA1g/BIwOIKj47dw/s1600/DSCF2118.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pkvfYFcm6zo/VYiCmWTGkBI/AAAAAAAAA1g/BIwOIKj47dw/s320/DSCF2118.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
See how they cry out for me</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Hear how they call my name</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
The look on their faces</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Fear of heartbreak</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
My people are hurting</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Their souls bleed</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
From longing and fear</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Oh so desperate</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Save us will you</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Help us, you should</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
I shudder at the mantle</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Office, staff, seal</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
The weight, the burden</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Lead us, great one</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Their voices raised</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
In adulation, nay, worship</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Out of the murk and mire</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Buried in corruption, steeped in poverty</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Their eyes fill with hope</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Mine, trepidation</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
100 days in office</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Campaign promises lie still</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Unfulfilled, empty, bare</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Still I strive, pressing</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
My friends, officers,</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Let’s move this nation forward</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Not yet, the coffers need to be emptied</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Personal gratification above all</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
This is not what we said</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
I look inwards</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Nothing. Vapid. Puppet.</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
A leader must be something</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
A Voice for the people</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Who called you to be that?</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
We installed you</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Get busy. Dig. Empty the accounts.</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
The streets are empty but not quite</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
I don’t see them.</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
They cry for me, but not as before</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Now they wail.</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
Sorrow, deep and piercing</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
My people have lost all faith</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
I hurt too. I am weak</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
We are all powerless</div>
<div style="color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-50903312784696856452015-06-13T10:48:00.000+01:002015-06-13T11:46:38.507+01:00For Nigel Jenkins: Who Made Poetry Enjoyable<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IH7mRjmoMeI/VXv6ilHE43I/AAAAAAAAA0g/i-4Ik3hgPP4/s1600/nigel-jenkins-6638677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IH7mRjmoMeI/VXv6ilHE43I/AAAAAAAAA0g/i-4Ik3hgPP4/s400/nigel-jenkins-6638677.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Anybody who knows me, knows that I have no love for poetry. I have this totally *nyeh* attitude to that genre of Creative Writing. Now, imagine getting to Swansea and being told that Poetry is a compulsory module.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yepa! Mogbe t'emi ba mi! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I worried about failure so much that it didn't allow me to even think I could do it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But, Nigel...Nigel made it so amazing. As I type this I remember the awesomeness of Nigel Jenkins. He was the director of the Creative Writing MA at Swansea. Nigel is a notable Welsh poet who was funny, talented and extremely warm. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I mean, I finished my poetry module starting to think "Nah, poetry isn't half bad". And then not long after we submitted our portfolios for the semester, Nigel passed away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was gutted. This man was very kind to me. Who was going to hold my hands through the academic rigours ahead? This was a good man. A really good man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I will never forget Nigel. I'm sad that he didn't grade my portfolio. But I'm so so so so happy I had the privilege of learning from this great man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I wrote a tribute to him, which was originally published in The Swansea Waterfront. There are no words what will ever be enough to laud this man. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He is truly missed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">***</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">One of the most prominent things in the
heart of a person who has travelled thousands of miles away from home is the
fear of being terribly alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re
plagued with the fear of the unknown, and the eager anticipation to give
yourself a certain sense of validation that you have made the right decision.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As days unfold into weeks, you struggle to
make this new place home. You make friends, but you do it with caution. It’s
not familiar but you’re willing to make the effort. You attend classes, while
making an effort to cope with the sudden surge of work along with the gaping
loneliness that hits you every time you go back to your room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This feeling of trepidation is something
that every international student faces. It is that scary sense of detachment
that one is without the comfortable anchor of the safety of home. I was fully
steeped in this bubble of insecurity when I moved to Swansea in September.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">At the first ‘meet and greet’ organized by
the Creative Writing teaching team, there was a man, in his mid-60s going round
the room, trying to ensure everybody was comfortable. It also helped that he
constantly topped up our wine glasses and encouraged us to be as relaxed as
possible. This man, whom I will later know to be Nigel Jenkins, was
particularly concerned about the fact that I had come all the way from Nigeria.
Was this my first time in the UK? Did I have family in Swansea? Oh No! I
didn’t? How dreadful! Where was I staying? Did I like my accommodation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would I let him know if I needed anything?
Absolutely anything. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Feel free to drop by
my office to let me know if there’s anything you might need</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nigel Jenkins, passed away on the 28<sup>th</sup>
of January 2014. As I write this piece, I am unsure of the best way to put down
the words which will truly represent the greatness of this man. A Welsh poet
and great contributor to Welsh literature, Nigel was more than just a member of
the Creative Writing team at the Swansea University. He was integral to the
establishment of the course at Swansea University. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As a result of that, poetry is one of the
compulsory modules for the MA program. You can only imagine my trepidation as
one coming to this course with absolutely no clue on how to approach poetry. In
my opinion, poetry was one of those things brilliant creative people write… to
show off. I said as much to poetry. I was terrified at the idea of having to
write a poem. What did I know about writing words in a certain colourful way?
What did I know about rhyme, metre or even Haiku!?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Three months after the course started, Nigel
managed to assuage my fears. I can still hear his voice saying ‘find the words
within you and write it down’. When I didn’t know if my Haiku was worth the
paper on which I wrote, he said ‘Haikus are about capturing that moment’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nigel’s soothing voice as he narrated his
various experiences in life as a journalist, of many-a-pint-inspired articles,
and as a poet was a constant reminder that even for me, an amateur writer; so
far from home… nothing was impossible. In my last tutorial meeting with him, just
before Christmas, he was very concerned about where I was going to spend the
holidays. He was very concerned about how I might get lonely out here alone
with no family, and said I was welcome to spend Christmas with his family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Such was the largeness of his heart. There
are no words to express the depth of gratitude I have to this great man whose
presence was integral to my getting settled into Swansea University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every international student needs a Nigel
Jenkins in their sojourn far from home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I am eternally grateful for meeting this
talented and hard working man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope
that I can be half the writer Nigel was. I hope that I can, someday, be an
inspiration to other people the way Nigel was to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">This piece is dedicated to the loving
memory of Nigel Jenkins (1949 – 2014)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-31678844158411054572015-06-04T14:54:00.001+01:002015-06-04T14:54:26.680+01:00Villagers! Gather Round...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4nQkNVIgkUc/VXBU-MzP-xI/AAAAAAAAA0I/TpCvY202Gng/s1600/DSCF1826.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4nQkNVIgkUc/VXBU-MzP-xI/AAAAAAAAA0I/TpCvY202Gng/s400/DSCF1826.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
I was going to write about how pretentious I looked a few hours ago - me, sitting in a room full of Asians and Hispanics, dunking tortilla chips into little pots of garlic guacamole. I was going to write about the importance of people watching when you're pretending to be aware of an All-American tradition - studying what team the majority of the room is supporting and remembering to shout when everyone else is. It doesn't matter that you don't know who the Seahawks are, or why everybody is shouting 'Touch Down!' It's all part of the tradition, and it was what I was going to write about - traditions.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Then, I remembered I was probably going to get flack for talking about 'something unrelatable'. So, let's talk about something more ethnic, and cultural and innate. Our villages, or home towns as some of you finer folk might like to call them.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Growing up, going to our home town every year was a non-negotiable event. It was the time of the year when family members converged to eat the greenest Ewedu and the brownest Amala ever. It was the time when family members who didn't know who was who, would ask: 'Are you Gbemi or Funke?' When you responded that you are Wonu, they would then say 'Ah! The architect!' Suddenly it was okay to be familiar enough to ask you to go and bring some yam and sardine stew for them from the kitchen.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Anyway, I had grown up believing everybody went to their villages, until I went to University and met people who said they had never been to theirs. One of my closest friends said her family never went to the village because her grandmother lived with one of her uncles in Lagos, and they were basically scared of people in their village so they never went. Because both my parents are from the same place, I have a stronger connection to Ogbomosho, so as the older generation died off, it didn't really reduce the 'family ties'. It also helped that we had a house to go to, which minimised the discomfort of going. However, as I grew older, and the compulsion to go to the village was taken off, there wasn't really a pull to go there. As much as I love going to visit my aunty, eating fresh mangoes, there's very little incentive to get on the bad Lagos-Ibadan expressway. Unless of course, there's a burial to attend.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Burials are another reason why people go to their villages. When my friend's father died, they had this huge situation of where to bury their dad. The man had lived in Lagos all his life, built a house in Lagos and died in Lagos. However, custom demanded that he was buried 'at home'. This was where it became a tricky situation. His children now had to posthumously invest in real estate - in a place they would probably never go again. Customs and traditions are a big deal, but real estate investment... now that is an even bigger deal.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
In my parents generation, it was imperative to have 'roots' - a house in the village, something small, something to show that you've not just been on a sojourn in a foreign land for nothing. In fact, for some people, it didn't matter that they lived in a rented flat for 22 years in the place that they earned their living; as long as they had a nice 10-bedroom duplex in the village they visited once a year, they were fulfilled. My siblings and I always made fun of my mum and her obsession with taking all the nice things she had to Ogbomosho. According to her, she was shoring up stuff for when she retired. 20 years later and those nice things have become antiquated in their cartons on the shelf of the store in Ogbomosho. The utopia of retiring to the country home still seems like a distant reality.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Today, I don't know many young people who build houses in their home towns or even visit. I think the expenses of trying to pay expensive school fees, summer in Disney Land and trying to pay mortgage in Solar Garden estate has drastically negated the ideology of putting down roots outside of the metropolis. At best, you'll find Lagos residents buying land on the outskirts of Lagos, like Mowe or Ikorodu. One of my friends in Abuja is looking to buy land in the FCT - nothing about Bayelsa State or future repatriation. Times have really changed.</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
This year, I really want to explore the dynamics of culture and tradition. Some aspects of culture do not really add value to our lives... or do they?</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Have a great week ahead. Stay safe, be productive and remember to add value in your sphere of influence.</div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-19927792684109659872015-05-17T11:17:00.002+01:002015-05-17T11:17:36.261+01:00Short Story Time!!! This one is Called 'Four Months'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kCVQJcWAVA8/VVhqW8dRFrI/AAAAAAAAAzE/cOX_Jo-bmgI/s1600/DSCF2924.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kCVQJcWAVA8/VVhqW8dRFrI/AAAAAAAAAzE/cOX_Jo-bmgI/s320/DSCF2924.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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It is said that there is a rush of air that fills your head
when you’re told you have only so long to live. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reaction is slightly varied depending on
how long you’ve been given. A year; and you’re thinking…bucket list -travel
plans and wild adventures; depending on how much exertion your now failing shell
will let you. 6 months, you’re thinking of calling lawyers and making peace
with people you’ve crossed along the road. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reel of film that plays your life comes in different
hues, depending on how well you’ve lived. This reel unfurled before Wale Cole now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For 64 years, he had lived like his father before him, and his father before
him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fierce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ruthless.
Calculating. Wale’s father had told him that the first Wale Cole had been the
true embodiment of all three. And although he didn’t live longer than 46, his
son had watched him crush any sign of weakness with a swiftness that was cold,
yet admirable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a shame that he
died from lung cancer. Wale Cole II smoked his last pipe at his father’s internment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He walked away from the graveside, promising
himself that he’d raise his son to be a man even greater than his father. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He stayed true to his promise; and 2 decades later, Wale
Cole III had grown the Cole brand in exponential proportions- operating out of
Japan with services across Asia, Africa and the Middle East. The pride of the
memory of his ancestors stayed with him, along with memories of the day he met
Shalewa.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It was a narrow hallway at the Ikeja High Court. She blew a
ring of smoke in his face, her eyes daring him to revolt. With one hand holding
up her hand bag, she said, “Are you one of the good guys… Or one of the bad
ones?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the smirk and
the complete lack of reverence that jarred him. Her plain face did nothing for
him. Eyes trailing slowly down, he wondered if she knew that the colour grey
was meant for her. The dress clung to every part of her body that all he could
think of was fucking her into submission - make her whimper till she never had
to ask who he was. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“No. I’m the really bad one. I have to be at court; but
nobody says I have to be in there staring at the whimpering faces of losers in
there.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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They were married the following year. 32 years of marriage
had done very little damage to that body. He watched her approach him
gracefully. Her smile, priceless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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“How long?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“4 months”<o:p></o:p></div>
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He pulled the lounge chair closer, pushing the deck table
between them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Did you bring it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes. The Macallan 1939 and my personal favourite brand of
Cubans”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She poured out their glasses, and lit the cigar.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Here’s to my first drink”<o:p></o:p></div>
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With a deep throaty laughter, she replied, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And your first smoke! It’s time to live”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-13147245622234218382015-04-30T23:06:00.000+01:002015-04-30T23:06:52.297+01:00Your Will & Mine... Because ELKAFT<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I
got on a plane last week... and I was terrified. The closer I got to the door
of the aircraft, the more I felt a cold draft of fear – acute and intense fear
– go through me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first thing I did
when I got into the plane was look in the direction of the cockpit – as if for
some sign that I was going to be okay. As I fastened my seatbelt and stowed my
bags away, I wondered “Girl, what was that about? I thought you stopped being
afraid of death 5 years ago?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The
month of March is a particularly difficult one for me. Every day from the 17<sup>th</sup>
to the 26<sup>th</sup> ,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find myself
rehashing and re-living the process of my brother’s accident, death and
funeral. The utter and sheer unexpectedness of it all is still very hard to
grasp; and as the years have rolled on, I have taught myself that death would
come, whether I want it to or not. I also know that neither me, nor my
household is immune from the randomness and the scythe of The Grim Reaper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Who’s
to say you’re not going to get on a plane with a depressed pilot in the
cockpit? How do you know that you’re not going to be standing at Cele bus stop
and you won’t get run down by a drunken tanker driver? What are the odds that
you’ll wake up tomorrow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before you
mutter ‘It’s not my portion’, you have to remember , ‘ Eyan Le Ku Any F**king
Time’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(ELKAFT) – translated to mean “A
person can die at any frigging time”. ELKAFT is something that we all need to
be aware of, consequently, we need to pay attention to some things like
planning for when you’re no longer around. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">As
Nigerians, deeply steeped in eternal faith based optimism, we don’t really put
a lot of stock in having properly documentation in preparation for death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time I talk to someone about having a
will, they smile and say “I’m not going anywhere yet. I shall live to declare…”
The lawyer in me keeps wondering what that even means. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Family
law and law of Succession were arguably my favourite courses in Unilag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between Professor Uzodike, and Mr. Tunde Oni,
I was well inculcated into the advocacy of having a last will and
testament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a lot of interesting
cases of family wars started as a result of intestacy. Interestingly, a lot of
notable intestate cases involved lawyers. Like chain-smoking doctors, the world
is full of intestate lawyers <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">While
having a will doesn’t necessarily make all your problems disappear, it helps a
lot. At least you know there’s a document to be followed in sharing your assets
when you’re gone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a will, you know
that your children are provided for and your debts are paid off (You don’t want
your creditors cussing you out on the way to heaven, do you?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So,
I asked my friend, Alfino,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when he
thinks the best time to start thinking of a will is, and he responded “When you
get married.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His wife added a modifier
stating, “If you have dependents, then you should start thinking of a will.” We
then went on to talk about some utterly murky situations created by intestacy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Essentially,
it’s about making provision for those you love and care about. For the sake of
argument, I asked what it should matter how people left behind deal with
themselves. After all, you won’t be there, so why should it matter? We
concluded that the messiness created from improper planning usually does more
harm than good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">We
talked about a wealthy Nigerian family whose dying patriarch called his
children together in one room, declared his assets and told everybody what was
due to them. He asked anybody with any dissatisfaction to speak up or forever
hold their peace. Nobody was going to be allowed to sully his name after his
death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There has been no news of family
squabbles. I like this style. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">In
another family, even though the patriarch knew he was dying and he left a will,
a new mysterious will surfaced. Let’s just say lawyers have been cashing out
from that mess. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">There’s
something about the idea of free money, and free property that makes people go
crazy. Even the nicest siblings start fighting over bungalow in Maryland, land
in Osapa London, town house in Mayfair. You imagine a family unit is the
closest you’ve ever seen, and then a super valuable piece of real estate comes
into contention and suddenly the claws come out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Cultural
nuances and dynamics don’t also make planning your estate easier. The question
of what law should govern your succession process comes into play. If you have
a will, and you’re a notable traditionalist – living your life fully according
to the dictates of customs and traditions – it becomes more difficult to apply
the specifics of a will. Disgruntled parties will argue that the will, drafted
under the Act is invalid as you lived as a traditionalist and your estate
should be divided accordingly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Some
estate battles become so bitter and protracted that one begins to wonder about
whether anything in life itself is worth fighting for. There’s nothing sadder
than having the memory of a loved one becomes coloured by the messiness of money
disputes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">It’s
never too early to start talking to a lawyer or a financial advisor about
planning your estate. And no, having a will isn’t the exclusive right of rich
people. Read up about it, make preparations and plan for your future; because…
well…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">ELKAFT!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-17409754780889574162015-03-15T18:12:00.000+01:002015-03-15T18:12:04.382+01:00My Friends Keep Pushing Boundaries! Laolu Senbanjo at the SXSW | 9elumi & the Endometriesis run<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So my friends are basically kicking ass left right and centre!
When 9elumi started talking about giving awareness to the Endometriesis condition, I thought 'how does she want to go about this?' I mean, it's not something a lot of people know about. Many of the by-products of having endometriesis is usually overlooked by our people. Protracted and painful periods? Well suck it up... you're an African woman. Don't be lazy.
That amongst other things made her decide to organise a run. She contacted the guys at Truppr and they're going to give out free yellow t-shirts to create awareness. Little woolen keepsakes will be sold at the run too. The money will be collected and sent to an existing endometriesis research place.
Pretty impressive!<br />
<br />
If you're in Nigeria and you wanna register for the run, visit www.truppr.com/5krun.<br />
<br />
**<br />
Another of my friends, Laolu Senbanjo is a creative genius. He is a lawyer (hey... all cool people are aren't we?)<br />
<br />
Anyway, he got into the SXSW FESTIVAL!!!<br />
<br />
No seriously... it is a big deal! He is an artist and an artiste! The afromysterics band, and Laolu are going to be performing under the world music line up {<a href="http://sxsw.com/schedule" target="_blank">check out the schedule here</a>}<br />
<br />
I interviewed Laolu some years ago on BN... I'll look for the link and upload it here. Really, he's 'cool peoples' and his song"Love Before" is one of my absolute favourites in the whole wide world.<br />
<br />
The write up from the press release is right after the photos.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b_aS_MN01pY/VQWe72VU5yI/AAAAAAAAAvk/bXsMhfHOt-w/s1600/Laolu%2BSenbanjo%2Bby%2BJide%2BAlakija.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b_aS_MN01pY/VQWe72VU5yI/AAAAAAAAAvk/bXsMhfHOt-w/s1600/Laolu%2BSenbanjo%2Bby%2BJide%2BAlakija.JPG" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Laolu
is about to head from New York City with his band, the Afromysterics to Austin,
TX to South by Southwest, alongside fellow Afro Artists Ayo and Rafiya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only a year old, this is the band’s first
SXSW performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Laolu
will be performing at Speakeasy Kabaret (412 N Congress Ave, Austin, TX 78701)
at 10:30 pm Thursday March 19, 2015.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
showcase is presented by Digiwaxx and powered by OkayAfrica.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Laolu
& the Afromysterics / SXSW <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DATES<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">03/19 – Austin,
TX @ Speakeasy Kabaret<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">xxx<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #737373; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Laolu
& the Afromysterics is the brain child of Laolu Senbanjo, a self-taught
musician, visual artist and a human rights lawyer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s the lead singer, composer, and the
acoustic guitarist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Born and raised in
Nigeria to Yoruba parents, he left his legal career behind to chase his dream
of being a musician and artist full time in New York City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His band, the Afromysterics are made up of an
eclectic group of musical geniuses from all over the globe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With influences from the likes of Fela Kuti,
King Sunny Ade, and Sade, the music definitely has its roots in the typical
Yoruba traditions, yet Laolu blends in reggae, afrosoul, and hip hop into the
songs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to witness this band
live to feel the African groove for yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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**<br />
Yeah... so my friends are doing things...<br />
<br />
Me.. well... when you know cool people it just makes you wanna be more and do more.<br />
<br />
These guys inspire me!<br />
<br />
Now, go forth and kick some major butt!</div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-48453483354442709762015-03-10T21:49:00.001+01:002015-03-10T21:49:59.947+01:00Beep! Beep!! Beep!!! A Story from 2011<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was looking through my old emails and I saw this. Well, I'm not going to edit it... or try and make it read better. I want to be able to remember what I wrote like back in 2011. Plus... I wanna be able to compare my growth... or absence of it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.800000190734863px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please read and leave a comment. Lol yah... I'm thinking asking for comments is a thing I should start trying innit?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Lucida Handwriting;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.800000190734863px;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beep! Beep!! Beep!!! The darned light on my Blackberry
never stops blinking. It’s always one thing or the other. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have 21 unread messages. Crap! What do they
all want? Why won’t they all leave me alone?? I just want to be alone dammit!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s always something someone feels is so
important they must tell you right away, something you must attend to as and
when they want it. If I wasn’t so exhausted at the moment I’d start pulling out
my hair, one strand at a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Flora... Reminding me that Tosin’s bridal shower is on
Sunday. “Tee, don’t forget to bring 5k for a gift for the bride. I also think
you’d need about 5k to eat at Pattaya. See you babes”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Tamuno... Letting me know I’m a bad friend. I haven’t
called her in a week “You, I hope you know I’m not happy with you at all.
You’ve not been a friend. You don’t call, you don’t text. Ordinary bbms sef you
don’t reply”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Tosin... Wanting to know if she can drop off her
aso-ebi<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in my house since I claim to be
working all the time. Too busy to see anybody. “Olatoun, my Mom is going to
Allen later today, will someone be in your house? I want to drop off the lace
and fascinator for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also don’t
forget the fitting for bridesmaids is on Saturday oh! My chief bridesmaid MUST
NOT be late. I know you”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kadeejah.. .Itching to give me the dirt on everyone,
including myself “Babes, I saw that smelly Alexia with Femi last night. Holding
hands and all.. I was so mortified on your behalf”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Femi, my sweet
asshole of an estranged husband ... constantly lying through his teeth...
wondering why I won’t give us a second chance. “Baby, I won’t stop telling you
how sorry I am. I’m nothing without you Toun, NOTHING.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And Sister Lara... needing to be consoled ALL the
frigging time. “Tee, :’( this supervisor never seems satisfied with whatever I
do. Honestly I’m tired. I need another job where I’ll be appreciated”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I feel like just screaming and tossing the phone against
the wall. Why does everybody think I don’t have troubles of my own?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like saying
to Sister Lara, suck it up, life isn’t a bed of roses, and even if it is there
are thorns in every rose stalk... so stop disturbing me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I feel like telling Femi what to do with that this
“Second chance” he keeps talking about...his ass hole is in need of stuffing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kadeejah... get a life and stop getting vicarious fixes
off other people’s lives. Sheesh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Tosin, so because you’re getting married now I should be
bankrupt? I’ve been there done that and have the scarred belly to show for it.
Not very impressed. Drop the aso-ebi if you will, but please step off my nuts
abeg!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*sigh* To Tammy, I just wanna scream. She’s undeserving
of words in return. I’ve not met a clingier and a more self-centred friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Oh Flora, dear Flora... Do you not get tired of these
little events/get togethers where we all smile falsely and pretend like all is
peachy and dandy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">BEEP! BEEP!! BEEP!!! This time it wasn’t from my phone,
but my dialysis machine, telling me my session was over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sighed deeply. 8 months of this so far and
I have the rest of my life to go. My diabetes had been improperly managed and
led to more complications so twice a month for the rest of my life this shall
be my fate. A lone tear betrayed me and rolled down my cheek. I swatted angrily
at it as I walked towards the nurses bay to sign out and get my appointment
card for my next visit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was dealing with this and the world was moving on. Every
time something happened to test me, I got up and fought, and I was victorious.
I always made it through. I had to be strong, the alternative, crumbling, was
not an option. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beep! Beep!! Beep!!! I looked at the offensive device in
my hand, it was my sister calling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
smiled because she was the only one who stood by me. She was the one I told
when I was told my kidneys were shutting down. The one who held me while I
cried because Femi left me for his ex-girlfriend, saying he always knew she was
meant for him. Tola, the one person with whom I shared an amniotic sac, whose
pulse I felt even when we were apart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Toun, I’ve been trying to reach you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Been at The Centre. I just finished. What’s up?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I guessed as much when you weren’t picking. Where are
you exactly? I have some news and I think you should sit down for this”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m walking towards the car. Ki lo shele?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I froze as I unlocked my car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">NO! NO!! NO!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyone but my mother, please NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-88824651282333143222015-02-11T23:22:00.003+01:002015-02-11T23:26:03.379+01:00Did Bola Agbaje's 'Gone Too Far' Go Too Far into Field of Absurdity?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dZPBamd6FLc/VNvDJ5H3RwI/AAAAAAAAAtI/Og91VWBrxSM/s1600/Gone-Too-Far-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dZPBamd6FLc/VNvDJ5H3RwI/AAAAAAAAAtI/Og91VWBrxSM/s320/Gone-Too-Far-Poster.jpg" /></a></div>
The Pan African Film Festival is currently in Los Angeles so my cousins and I decided... oh let's see some films. Right? Okay, so I wanted to see <i>Gone Too Far</i>, because it had O.C Ukeje in it.
I'd seen read the synopsis and reckoned it might be cool to see what it would end up being. So, this is my review of Bola Agbaje's <i>Gone Too Far</i>, directed by Destiny Ekaragha.
The film was originally written as a stage play in 2007, and was made into a feature film in 2014. A young Nigerian guy, Ikudaisi (played by O.C Ukeje) joins his mother (played by Golda John Abiola ) and younger brother (played by Malachi Kirby) in London after many years of separation. The film sought to tell the story of Ikudaisi's integration into the society his family lived in, with particular emphasis on how his arrival affected his brother's social life... or lack of it.<br />
<br />
So, overall, the movie was okay. Honestly, it was. But I had a lot of issues with the film. But before I go into that, let's talk about the name of O.C Ukeje's character. The Hell is Ikudaisi?????? Reallly??? Of ALLLLLL the names to give to your character? <i>Iku</i> - death. <i>Daisi </i>- Establishes this one. So the name basically means Death Establishes This One. No, I'm not being pedantic, that name is soooo 1953 Yoruba Land! They did NOT TRY with that name. Haba!<br />
<br />
Okay, I just thought to get that minor peeve out of the way.
Secondly, I don't get why the entire story line of the film was made to last the whole day! Okay, so here's what happened. Ikudaisi landed from Nigeria... in slippers and some 'hip hop hurray' neck chains and baggy pants (troziz... if you don't like AmericanSpeak). After the initial greeting and unnecessary elongation of scenes, the Mother asks Yemi to go to the shops to pick up some Okro for food for Ikudaisi's meal. From the beginning of the film to the very end... it was this Okro these boys went to buy oh! The street chases, the ridiculousness of running into girls, the unnecessary social commentary, the fight scenes...EVERYTHING was in the cause of this Okro buying. Just how far away was this shop where the Okro was supposed to be purchased?
For someone who had arrived on a 6 hour trip from Nigeria, who was supposedly meant to be fed and allowed to rest, Ikudaisi was quite spritely.<br />
<br />
There were also some absurdities in the movie which made one ask "Really now? Really?" For instance, when the Uncle brought Ikudaisi from the airport, instead of taking him home, he left him in the car and went into the shops for a cigarette? The dramatic exit of Ikudaisi from the car when his mother arrived was very lacklustre. How come Ikudaisi and Yemi were so unfamiliar with each other? Did they never speak on the phone? Was Ikudaisi living under a rock? It's one thing not to know your brother's fashion sense, it's another thing to NOT know anything about him. There was NO explanation as to why the brothers didn't know each other. Please living on two continents is not an excuse.<br />
<br />
Also, I the general idea of trying to show cultural diversity, but the scenes with those two girls were very tiresome. We got the picture; Armani (Shanika Warren-Markland) is a confused girl who wanted to get her boyfriend jealous but her existence did very little to move the plot forward. I get wanting to sprinkle romance and jealousy into a story, but there's a point when too much of something just leaves the audience tired.
While I quite liked Paris (Adelayo Adedayo), the attempt to show her as the girl who was pining for Yemi, while he chased after Armani, fell flat. There was nothing in her body language or dialogue to show that.
I must mention that the scene where Armani and Yemi confronted themselves in the park with people watching was just... "God when is this movie going to end?"
In all, the film was okay. I'm not even going to compare it to a Nollywood, since I don't even think Nollywood flicks are made for you to even engage your brain.<br />
<br />
I liked the mother in this film. Golda John was funny and natural. There were times where there was zero chemistry between her and the sons but hey... compared to the other actors... she was okay. O.C Ukeje's Yoruba was quite wonky... but that's okay. He's an Igbo guy speaking Yoruba... we forgive him.
In conclusion, this might have been best left as a stage play. Stretching it into a full feature film was going too far!</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-92151981667117996722015-02-11T01:40:00.002+01:002015-02-11T01:40:35.661+01:00Snag that man... Get Pregnant!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JW9sWk5GxQE/VNqk1NOg9qI/AAAAAAAAAs4/Jb7qB013SLQ/s1600/Yimz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JW9sWk5GxQE/VNqk1NOg9qI/AAAAAAAAAs4/Jb7qB013SLQ/s1600/Yimz.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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“Have you considered having a baby together? It will help you find out how vested your partner is, in the relationship”</div>
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If you’ve been in a protracted ‘serious relationship’, chances are that one concerned friend/relative would have said these words to you. It’s one of those '<em>nuggets of wisdom</em>' you receive, in pursuit of the ever elusive words of commitment from Le Boo.</div>
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Women, in a constant race against the biological clock, are the most susceptible to the anxiety that comes from just hanging. So, when things appear stalled, they begin to consider options for expediting their goals – marriage and children.</div>
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In light of this, the idea of introducing a child to the mix becomes like a compelling force for commitment. Rightly or wrongly, this is widely practiced by Nigerians. Based on certain cultural expectations, a lot of people feel obliged to do right by the person they’re having a child with – so men have been known to consider marriage once a pregnancy comes in the mix.</div>
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I know a guy who is constantly lamenting about how unhappy he is in his marriage. One day, I got tired of hearing the whining, and asked him if he was forced to marry this woman. The way I saw it, unless he was dragged by the noose to the altar, he had no business moaning this much.<br />“She got pregnant na! So I had to marry her.”</div>
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Oh God! He made it sound like such a burden. His words provided a bit of clarity into why he always seemed so miserable. Upon further talk, he revealed that the pregnancy for which he got married was lost in a miscarriage, and as such he was ‘stuck’ in the situation. Whilst I had very little sympathy for him – I’m not really a fan of the victim mentality – it did make me wonder about the different ways his story could have turned out.</div>
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It is my belief that when two consenting adults are having unprotected sex, they’re in a form of committed relationship, and they are ready for any of the consequences – STDs and babies. Neither party should be allowed to wallow in self-pity if any of the by products of their actions come to play.</div>
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Now, because mistakes happen, and nothing is ever 100% certain, what do you do when you’re not ready to have babies – psychologically, emotionally and financially – and a pregnancy comes into the mix?</div>
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In the past, it was believed that the honour of a woman was not to be besmirched, and as such a man was under an obligation to marry the woman – societal expectations enforced the binding of two willing or unwilling parties. Parents, largely out of shame, would tether their children together. This was based on the premise that if you’re having enough sex to allow yourself get pregnant, then you should be ready to live the rest of your life with that person.</div>
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However, we know that marriage is a life long commitment. Is it enough to make a decision of a lifetime based on the fact that you’re having a child together? The child will grow up and leave the nest. A paternity test could reveal that the child isn’t yours. Also, like my friend, you could lose the pregnancy? Or the child may die; then you’re stuck with someone you were just okay with shagging.</div>
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It can be argued that the flip side of this is, falling hopelessly in love with the person during the process of waiting for the child to be born. This happens a lot in novels and movies. From what Mills & Boons writers would have us believe, two Friends with Benefits will suddenly realize they can’t live without each other while choosing strollers and picking out baby cots. In this case, the marriage would be a beautiful love story – “Your Mummy wasn’t sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Then you came along and one day while we were deciding what colour to paint your room, she knew she couldn’t spend another day without me” *cue fairy tale music in the background*</div>
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<a data-mce-href="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297.jpg" href="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Atoke Cheerios" class="alignleft wp-image-526121" data-mce-src="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297-600x447.jpg" height="224" src-large="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297-600x447.jpg" src-medium="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297-300x300.jpg" src-thumbnail="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297-150x150.jpg" src="http://www.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DSCF2297-600x447.jpg" style="float: left;" width="300" /></a>In real life, depending on the state of the relationship before the added element of a child, a couple may discover things about themselves, which might help strengthen the bond. All is well that ends well, right?</div>
<div data-mce-style="text-align: justify;" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-align: justify;">
Another angle to consider on the subject is the idea of using the pregnancy as a form of entrapment. In this case, it isn’t really a mistake; instead, it’s a calculated attempt on the part of the woman to bring a child into the relationship. Some people believe that they can tip the scales of indecision by tweaking the parameters of the relationship. Like any calculated business decision, it is a risk. The man might decide that it is immoral, or unethical to have his child unclaimed/unacknowledged; in this vein, he might decide to marry the mother of the child in order to bestow legitimacy on the child. In that case, the woman is getting the title, the husband and all the trappings that come with being ‘settled’. It becomes immaterial that the man was manipulated into the arrangement. He will be very alright!</div>
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The deception is not an exclusive right of female folk. Stories abound of how some men swap their partners’ birth control pills with placebo tablets. This is done on the basis that if chic gets pregnant, she won’t go anywhere.</div>
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In some cultures, the man doesn’t even have to make an overt proposal of marriage –once it is proven that the pregnancy/child is his, the woman automatically absorbed as the wife. There’s a Yoruba adage that is loosely translated to mean ‘A woman who has had a baby for one ceases to become a concubine – said woman is a wife’</div>
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If, however, the entrapment plan is unsuccessful, the woman is stuck with a child for the rest of her life – and a reminder that she took a risk on a project that never took off.</div>
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The Pregnancy Ambush is not a new concept; is a culturally cultivated and encouraged – forget what you read on the Internet about your body being the Temple of the Most High. That advice becomes a tiny whisper when you get to the other side of your 30s. And until we’re ready to stop making people feel like they have a deficiency if they’re not married, then, the Pregnancy Ambush is here to stay. We can only continue to encourage people to have protected sex – for their sakes, and for the sake of the child who didn’t ask to be used as a pawn in the Commitment War.</div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-23828215610462309322015-01-26T23:03:00.000+01:002015-01-26T23:03:06.185+01:00The Misadventures of the Reply All Button<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NM0piJufzco/VMa5Y4m9iRI/AAAAAAAAAro/vfrHELBv6hI/s1600/ododo%2Boro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NM0piJufzco/VMa5Y4m9iRI/AAAAAAAAAro/vfrHELBv6hI/s1600/ododo%2Boro.jpg" height="320" width="271" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">A few weeks ago, a seemingly innocent email popped into my
mailbox. The sender of the email was someone named ‘Tunde Goma’. Other visible
recipients of the email were variants of the ‘Tunde Goma’ name. I did a quick
scan of the contents, and it looked like spam, so I did what ordinarily came to
me – marked it as spam. Next thing I knew, emails poured in, in droves: “Take
me off this list”, “How did I get on this list?”, “I’m not interested in
politics. I don’t want this email”, “Who gave you my email? address”.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Why was I getting emails about people complaining about
receiving an email? Why were they all using the ‘Reply All’ button? More
importantly, why were they clogging my inbox with their rants about wanting to
get off the list?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Ah! Hold on… was my ‘Mark as spam’ button not working properly?
Oh well, thank God for Gmail and the ability to create filters. I created a
filter with the appropriate keywords, and directed all related emails to the
BIN!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">The Tunde Goma emails in the trash became my entertainment for
the week. How was it that seemingly intelligent people decided to take a break
from simple logic? In order for the ‘problem’ to go away, you don’t feed the
monster! How hard was it to figure out that hitting the ‘Reply All’ button was
counter productive? One of the emails read: “How did I get on this list at all
in the first place??!! I DON’T want to be here! Full stop”</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">We needed the ‘Full stop’ for emphasis. Really, we did.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Anyway, what started as a seemingly innocuous email became a
baptism of irritating emails. By the end of the week, I had an idea that the
recipients of the email were people in the Nigerian media industry, Nigerian
entertainers, and Nigerian ‘Twitter Overlords’. People went crazy with the
Reply All button – ignoring the fact that some of their signatures had their
phone numbers and professional designation. Talk about brand promotion.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I’ll share some of the funniest responses to the Tunde Goma
email<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Pls
take me off this list as well. At this point I’d recommend that you ask for people’s
permission before you flood their inboxes with emails. Your intentions may have
been good, but this is the worst way to go about it. You’ll end up
upsetting/irritating the very same people you are trying to recruit.</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> </span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">– Nigerian music artiste and co-label head.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Aww, how cute! How about you take your own advice and not hit
‘Send’ after the ‘Reply All’ button? <i>You </i>ended up irritating a lot of
people.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">i
dont know why i am getting all these messages?am i a politician?please remove
me ASAP</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – Popular blogger</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">WTF!!!!!!
take me off this nonsense</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – Okay, I don’t know what this guy
does but I see his name a lot in emails. I’m guessing he’s a blogger.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Something
went wrong somewhere pls like the photographer said, stop responding and simply
delete the message(s). You all are clogging my mailbox.</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> <span style="color: #535353;">Haba! </span></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">–
Somebody.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Look how he/she ended up clogging all our mailboxes with his/her
own email.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Guys…
Please… Stop…. Responding… To… The… Email. Everyone wants off the email. When
you stop responding it’ll all stop. A few people have mentioned this earlier
but people still aren’t paying attention. We are the ones spamming our own
inboxes!!</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> <span style="color: #535353;">Please let my
annoying, yet clarifying email be the last one. </span></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">– Creative Filmmaker.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Aww she’s cute… and funny too. But she ALSO used the ‘Reply All’
button. Not so funny.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">This
is a lot of distraction, please remove me from your mailing list</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – Her signature revealed she works in Corporate Services in a
big Nigerian bank.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">It was clearly not enough of a distraction as she was focused
enough to reply ALL!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">How
do I get out of this ?</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – The name didn’t ring a bell.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">But I could just hear the pain behind these words. Bless!
Filter, honey. Filter!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Three days later, we were still getting the emails.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"></span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">It’s Unfortunate That People Don’t Listen And Definitely Don’t
Pay Attention To Instructions! I Can’t Count How Many Time People Been Writing
For Others To STOP Replying And I Also Remember Toks Giving Instructions On How
To Unsubscribe From The List! It’s Not Hard! Once You Open The Email Please
Read The Thread BEFORE REPLYING!! Simple As ABC! JESOS! Is That So Hard??? I
Don’t Have Problem With Who Sent! BUT I Have Problem With People That Are
Looking For Solution For The Email To STOP without Following Instructions!
Scroll To The Bottom Of The Thread And Click The Link To Unsubscribe that Way
You Don’t Get In Your Inbox! Shikena! Dang People This Is 2015! Lets Be Up for
a Sec! </span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">-Somebody.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">But your guess is as good as mine. The emails didn’t stop. I
think Jesus was offended that his name was misspelled.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Then, like a ray of hope in the darkness of my Trash Folder,
this came:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Hi
Tunde Goma,</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Really
admire the work you’re doing.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Please
keep me on the mailing list, I never want to miss any of your emails ever, even
if I’m the only one left here</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Thanks
so much for all you’re doing</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – Twitter Socio-Political
commentator</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I love how we can create gems from rubble! Of course we’re not
Nigerians if we don’t descend slightly.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">TUNE
WHOEVER YOU ARE YOUR INBOX WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE AGAIN OH..HEHEHEHEHHEHEHE</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> <span style="color: #535353;">I INTEND TO KEEP CLICKING ON REPLY ALL.</span> <span style="color: #535353;">LEGGOOOO!!!</span></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">SHOKI AAAANH – Popular Blogger.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Then, Jesus was invited back.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Am
begging you in Jesus name remove me from this mailing list</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – Another Blogger.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Can we take a few minutes to talk about this “I’m”/”Am”
dichotomy? CAN WE PLEASE STOP? LET US STOP!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Okay back to our emails, people! Our Twitter socio-political
commentator came back:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Hi
All,</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Sorry
to bother you again but I’ve just been informed by Sir Tunde Goma that midnight
today (Nigerian time) will be the deadline for anyone who wants to escape from
the terror of this mailing list.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">If
you do not make your request to leave by tonight, then you will remain here
until May 29th, democracy day.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">God
bless</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">He’s funny isn’t he? Yes, some people actually took him
seriously!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Anyway, since we were clearly not going to get away from the
emails, it was time to socialize… yes?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Since
you people have refused to stop sending emails, and Tunde Goma has refused to
accept my unsubscribe request, let us kuku start enjoying ourselves.</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> <span style="color: #535353;">Shall we start with introductions? St**** and F**i, can
you start, since na una dey enjoy this thread pass </span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-no-proof: yes;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img height="17" src="file://localhost/Users/Atoke/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_2" width="17" /><!--[endif]--></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– Writer/Journalist</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Also, we must not pass off a chance to network either</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Hi
guys,</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">There’s
a new paintball spot at Unique World, Wuse Zone 5, Abuja. However you have to
book ahead by calling 08023500446 with a minimum of 6 players for the arena to
be set up.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Come
with family, friends or foes, in fact we can use Tunde Goma as target practice
too if he avails himself.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Cheers</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"> – The name wasn’t familiar.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Moving on swiftly… remember I told you some people took our
Twitter socio-political commentator seriously?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Gosh,
this is beyond irritating.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I’ve
been silent, watching it get worse, hoping it will stop, and now we are given a
deadline as though we asked for this in the first place?</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Two
days ago I did the ‘unsubscribe’ thing that was supposed to be the cure to this
madness, and thought hey presto, this is it. Two minutes after, more mails,
more mails, more mails.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Kindly
inform Sir Tunde Goma (whoever he is and however it is that he even has my
email in the first damn place!!!) to please take me off this here thing. I’ve
had enough.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Thank
you, God bless.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">My favourite… and absolute favourite email from the Tunde Goma
saga was this one:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">First off,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I
have no idea where (whoever is the originator of this spam) got my email from
and decided that mandatorily, I have to receive an unending flow of junk mail
on a topic i’d rather not bother with.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">With
all due respect and for the respect for privacy, either: give people the
opportunity to unsubscribe from this list or remove their emails from your list
immediately upon request.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">You
have NO right to give people you are spamming an ultimatum. I am one of the few
who acts more than I talk. And I will act in a way you may not find palatable
if my email is not taken off your list and I receive no messages from you or
3rd parties you may have sent my email to.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Thanks.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Best,</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">*cue the hook for Tony Tetuila’s hit single “My Car”*</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">I think the emails stopped last week;
I’m not sure. I haven’t been digging in my trash for a while.</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-59268666363433273622015-01-11T23:29:00.000+01:002015-01-11T23:29:19.344+01:00Short Story: Accents of Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KQPsNQrWZuM/VLL5BJKuZII/AAAAAAAAAqI/OE6l6HSRap4/s1600/DSC00283.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KQPsNQrWZuM/VLL5BJKuZII/AAAAAAAAAqI/OE6l6HSRap4/s1600/DSC00283.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">First it was Labake, and now Tokunbo. I was
getting increasingly tired with the arrival of my “Just Got Back” cousins.
Their idea of Lagos was narrowed to parties, champagne and lots of money being
spent. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each of them had a list
activities they wanted to carry out while they were home for Christmas and it
involved me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sadly, all I wanted to do on Saturdays was
sleep. Well, that and picking my clothes from the dry cleaners. I had it
perfectly planned out – dash in and dash out before the wedding traffic on Oba
Akinjobi trapped me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tokunbo insisted on
coming with me; perhaps we could stop by Allen Avenue to see one of his ‘mates’
from Secondary School?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Oh my cousin had plans. He had lots of
them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, his plans were not even the biggest problems
I had. It was the incessant talking. He never stopped - always prattling on
about how he’s very familiar with the city of Lagos and how we’re a bunch of
party animals. He spent the time in traffic telling me about how he reads the
blogs and keeps abreast of the social scene by the pictures online.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Yes,
Tokunbo. Those are the true indices of reality in Lagos. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I must have grunted because he stopped
talking – thank goodness. But only for a second.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Tope, did you say something?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I cranked up the volume of the radio. I
needed something to help me zone out his annoying voice that came with all that
affectation. Was it just me or why the hell did Toks have a bloody accent? I’m
his cousin for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">crying out loud… </i>and
we lived in the same house for 17 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is even more baffling is the fact that we enrolled in Imperial
together, and we graduated at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>5 years after graduation and he is speaking to me through his nose?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It is
well.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Thankfully, I made it back home without my
ears being talked off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going up
the stairs when I heard Mummy talking on the phone. From her side of the
conversation, I picked up news that my Uncle Richard was coming this evening
and he was bringing his new wife. Mum and Aunty Rolly were always gossiping
about other family members but recently, Uncle Richard’s new wife was the butt
of their everyday discourse. According to her she had an agenda and she was a
schemer. Contrary to their thoughts, I quite liked her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She was as quiet as a mouse but with her
skin as bleached out as many of the people in the Nigerian entertainment
industry, I knew she had a back story which was interesting. I wasn’t thrown by
the façade of sweetness but it wasn’t a turn off. She was probably a diplomat
who wanted to study her environment before showing her true self. She was well
versed in the art of war. My mother and aunty needed to take lessons from her.
They played their hands too early in the game and it was why they would never
win this battle. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was planning to sneak out of the house
around 8pm but the lure of watching the family drama was too high. I figured
I’d sleep for a few hours and if I felt better, I’d decide if to stay in or go
out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned on the air conditioning
and I was drifting off into the blissful land of sleep when the power went out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Oh how I hate Nepa. Well, not just because
of the unbearable heat and the noise from the generators. Those are valid
reasons, true but I hate it when the power cuts lead to more unbearable
pontificating from the cousins. I was still midway in thought when Labake came
into the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Tope! The government really needs to do
something about this power situation”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I wasn’t sure if it was a statement of fact
or a question, so I ignored her. Lord knows it took all the strength in me to
bite back the retort that came naturally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Oh, are you asleep?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This was my cue to pretend so she would get
out but curiousity got the better of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“No, I’m awake. Do you need anything?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She took it as a sign that she was welcome
to sit. She wanted to know which telecoms company she could sign into with her
iPad. She droned on about how the data plan she had signed on had been
exhausted in less than a week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Tope, I’ve spent over 20,000 Naira on data
in just a week. That’s almost 80 Pounds”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Oh
thanks for doing the conversion Labake. I really needed to know the Sterling
equivalent.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I smiled sympathetically and told her to
cut down on the YouTube videos and the Skype sessions. Those things are enemies
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Naija</i> data plans. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I closed my eyes, hoping she’d take the cue
and leave. I wasn’t so lucky. She decided to tell me how the Skype sessions
were important to her relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Yes,
tell me Labake. Because, just one more time I need to hear about how in love
you are and how you are so sad Le Boo didn’t want to come to Nigeria with you
this year. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was literally saved by the bell when my phone rang. I held it up as a sword,
hoping she would take this as her cue to leave my room. She smiled and nodded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Urghh!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I got up and ran into the bathroom to take
the phone call. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God bless your soul
Michael.</i> 15 seconds into the call and it cut off. Four more attempts at
connecting the call and I was able to get the entire message. Michael wanted to
hang out this evening. He also had a couple of friends from London who had come
home for the holidays. They needed to be entertained and he didn’t want to have
to sit through it alone. I figured I might as well go. If possible invite my
thoroughly bored cousins, they might enjoy the company of Michael’s friends and
I won’t have to pretend to enjoy the company of our entire family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I gave up on trying getting any rest and
decided to put my freshly laundered clothes in their place. Thankful that
Labake had left my room before I finished on the phone, I gladly welcomed the
solitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I opened the windows, to let
in some fresh air – if you call the air with the fumes from our neighbor’s
noisy generator fresh. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Next
on the agenda? Pick out an outfit for the evening</span></i><span lang="EN-US">.
I didn’t want to make an effort but I didn’t believe in going out looking like
a pauper. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you have a mother like
mine, attention to dressing is a trait that you ingest with breast milk. Left
to my mother, I’d only go out in heels as she could not understand my obsession
with flat sandals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was tempted to
remind her of her current battle with arthritis and how she secretly had a pair
of flip flops in the car everywhere she went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No, I didn’t want to end up like my mother so I tried to be fashionable
with a bit of sensibility. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I finally settled on a short pink Ankara
dress with a mono strap. Nothing says it’s Christmas in Nigeria better than a
deluge of colours and prints. My dress was cinched at the waist and flowed down
from the pleats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no need to
pretend I didn’t have slightly bow legs so I embraced it by trying out things
that were not long and dowdy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tiny pearl
studs from another time and place to match the cream sequins the tailor had
lavished all over the dress. According to her, they were the justification for
making me pay 8,000 Naira for the making of fabric that cost a third that
sum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ah! The tailor – that was another errand
her cousins had insisted we had to run together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Labake’s last shopping trip to Balogun market
had her hauling in 13 different fabrics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“They’d be delightful in the summer” she
said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Yes,
tell me about it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I didn’t want Iya Fatai to start getting
ideas about scaling up the pricing for her services, so I haggled properly. My
cousin’s exaggerated appreciation of all things Africa was not going to be a
reason to start paying 10,000 for sewing a dress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We told my parents that we were going out
for drinks and wouldn’t be able to stay for dinner. Shame, I’d miss the drama
with my new aunty. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mum said we could have her driver for the
night. It was an offer I wasn’t about to decline because if the night went
well, I was going to be in no state to drive. If the night went badly, I was
surely going to find solace in booze.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We got out of the car and Toks, who sat in
front promptly, came to open the back door for us to get out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“You look really lovely, Tops”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My cousin was the quintessential
gentleman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a shame that he was
extremely annoying. I couldn’t wait for these ‘returnees’ to leave my
city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I led them towards the entrance of
Sip where Michael said he and his friends would be. A quick scan of the room
and I saw him waving his hands frantically. Standing next to him was the most
beautiful man I’d ever seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He stood
about an inch taller than Michael who was comfortably 6ft 2”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grey eyes, firm nose and a mouth that looked
like they belonged on mine. Oh, did I mention he had the most disarming smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of a sudden there was nobody in the room
and I felt the firmness of this man’s torso against my skin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Has
it really been that long, Tolutope, get a grip!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">One foot ahead of the other, I walked
towards them, knowing that Michael would make the necessary introductions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Majid! This is my best friend Tope. This
is Majid”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I knew I was supposed to say something
smart and intelligent, but I couldn’t form the words. My head felt empty. No,
not empty, just filled with extreme lust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Hi, Majid, welcome to Lagos. Are you
staying for Christmas?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Oh wow! Tope, that’s quite a strong London
accent. How long have you been back?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Fuck!
I’m just like the rest of ‘em bloody Returnees!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-21615818250428746312015-01-11T23:24:00.001+01:002015-01-11T23:24:40.362+01:00Fostering A Culture of Laziness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qSxOgGZKyV4/VLL4DoWblII/AAAAAAAAAqA/2-cGqeLtxFU/s1600/B.A.N.S.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qSxOgGZKyV4/VLL4DoWblII/AAAAAAAAAqA/2-cGqeLtxFU/s1600/B.A.N.S.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Writing
Monday Morning Banter used to be a lot of fun for me. It was light and easy; I
didn’t have to worry about depth or pseudo-intellectuality. <i>Just
keep it simple, and you’d be fine</i>. However, two years later, I’ve found
myself asking questions about purpose and essence. So, I’m caught in this place
of keeping it light, and trying to pass a message across – leaving a mark with
one person . Now, it’s about that domino effect.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I ask myself
questions about the effect of what people read on my column in relation to
lifestyle and cultural change. How are we shifting the dynamics of what we know
to be ‘norm’ and how are we making things better? If we’re to be a part of the
change we want to see in Nigeria, Africa, or Black people in general… how much
are we doing to open our minds to the ideas for change and impact?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">What are
those tiny things which we do as rote? Why do we do them? Have we ever asked
why we do what we do? If we try to do these things differently, will we be
better people?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">One of such
things is the idea of sending subordinates on errands. Earlier on this year,
someone on the TalkNaija WhatsApp group told us about how she was in such a
hurry to get to work that she forgot her shoes. Luckily she had a spare pair in
the car so she asked her house officer to go get her shoes from the car. Then,
I asked why she couldn’t get her own shoes? If she absolutely had to send
someone, then why didn’t she send someone whose job description included
running domestic errands? She retorted that as the house officer’s boss, she could
send him/her on any errand. She further cited the hippocratic oath, stating
that it was part of the subordinate’s job to ensure the boss could perform
effectively.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">As I am not a
doctor, I do not know the nuances of the profession; however, I have been on
the receiving end of being sent on all forms of errands by virtue of being the
youngest person in the room.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">A lot of
people say that being the last child comes with a lot of perks. There’s a
belief that the last child is spoiled rotten, and doesn’t have to experience
the strict regime of the parents. {<a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/08/27/all-children-are-equal-but-some-are-more-equal-than-others/"><span style="color: #ea3a1c; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">We explored the
different things associated with a child within a family here</span></a>}.
Nobody talks about the fact that you’re an automatic subordinate and therefore
subject to being sent around. When I was younger, my cousin Abemu specialised
in the art of SENDING! On days when she was at home, we (the younger children)
found creative ways to make ourselves scarce! She fancied herself as a clean
freak, so on Saturdays she would sit down and start ordering the minions.
“Clean the window sill”/”Did you get that space behind the TV?”/”If I look at
that glass, will my teeth sparkle?” At the end of the day, she would complain
of extreme tiredness! Ahn ahn! Sister, tiredness from sending your younger
relatives on errands?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">As Nigerians,
the ability to boss other people around is one of the perks of seniority. From
secondary school, you’re anxious to become a senior so that you can mete the
evil done to you (by seniors) on junior students. {<a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2013/06/24/atokes-monday-morning-banter-senior-pangolo/"><span style="color: #ea3a1c; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Remember ‘Senior
Pangolo’?</span></a>} There’s that sense of entitlement that comes with a
position of authority. It’s one of the reasons why a lot of students are
terribly unhappy when they’re transferred to another school just as they’re
about to attain the ‘Senior’ status.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">In all of
this, we find this attitude spilling over into adulthood. But it begs the
question of how we’re fostering a culture of laziness. Or is it simply our
culture – you’re older/in a position of authority and as such every other
person beneath you is available to do your bidding. It can also be argued that
delegation of duty is an important part of people management. Some people argue
that they need to delegate to subordinates to effectively manage time
resources.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">So if I’m on
a conference call with clients, then it makes sense to ask my staff to buy me
mobile top-up for my phone. Or if I’m about to perform important surgeries,
it’s more effective to send my house officer to bring my shoes from the car.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Where do we
draw the line between delegation and just taking advantage? Do we have this
innate culture of ‘this is how it was done to me, and I must do it to people
coming after me’?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I know a lot
of people who have said one of the reasons they don’t like living abroad is the
fact that they don’t have <s>cheap</s> help with domestic activities. In
Nigeria, there’s the acceptable culture of servitude. “Your boss is coming,
rush and carry the encyclopedia he’s holding, because he’s going to pull a palm
muscle if he holds his own book”. Are we subconsciously continuing a culture of
laziness?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #535353; font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">What do you
guys think? Is this OUR WAY and we should deal with it? Is this a form of
delegation? Should people start doing things by themselves or are some
questions best left unasked?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-82255608759600503762015-01-11T23:16:00.003+01:002015-01-11T23:16:48.467+01:00Book Review: These Words Expose Us - An Anthology<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>As part of my new year resolution to update my blog regularly... here's a book review of the book compiled by the guys over at TheNakedConvos.com.
I hope you enjoy it.
</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XQua8rD7Lq4/VLL12e0oOAI/AAAAAAAAAp0/kEKePA0zmJg/s1600/Book_PR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XQua8rD7Lq4/VLL12e0oOAI/AAAAAAAAAp0/kEKePA0zmJg/s1600/Book_PR.jpg" height="267" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Words: those
little things that give life to our feelings, our depth and our identities.
Words are what tie this eclectic anthology together. The title <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">These
Words Expose Us: An Anthology</i></b> gives one a sense of the expectation of an
emotional strip down; and indeed, the book does that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">16 stories,
13 writers, this anthology was curated by Wole Talabi - an editor of The Naked
Convos – a place where young people are given a safe space for expression in
all media. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">These Words Expose Us</i></b>,<s> c</s>an easily be finished in one day
if you put your heart to it. Or the stories can be read one a day and last two
weeks if you prefer it that way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The book starts
with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Thing With Mr. Lawal</i></b>, by ‘Pemi Aguda. <s><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></s>As I am a huge fan of ‘Pemi’s work, I am
not surprised that I enjoyed reading this story through the eyes of a
reviewer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Telling the story from the 2<sup>nd</sup>
person narrative gives the reader a deep sense that the writer is talking
directly to you. This style of narrative, not commonly employed is very
enjoyable because it feels like holes are being bored into the reader’s soul. You.
You. You. The Thing with Mr. Lawal is a story of love, infatuation and
attraction, told in a slow layering of characterization. It’s not a plot driven
story and its highest selling point is the slow unravelling of Mr. Lawal. Pemi
has two stories in the book, the second being <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘Naming’ </i></b>which is
similarly toned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The decision
to have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Business</i></b> as the second story seemed spot on. Uche Okonkwo’s
style of story telling is quite special. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘Business’</i></b> takes you into the life
of a female commercial sex worker - ‘Bee’ and one of her unique clients. With
clear and concise language and narration, the reader there’s a certain tug
emotion for the Bee. I like the fact that she’s ‘unnamed’ – this adds to the
allure and secrecy that comes with a University student who has an ‘unsavoury’
night job. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The editors
own major story contribution<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, A Certain Sort of Warm Magic</i></b> was a
delightful surprise. Having read Wole Talabi’s work in the past, I was expecting
some sci-fi, some fantasy and a dash of supernatural.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A LOVE STORY, WITH NO MAGIC OR STARDUST. It
was simply a story of a man who was afraid to confront his feelings. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to go back to check that the story was
written by Wole. After a few dictionary checks for some unfamiliar words, I
started to think ‘Maybe it is Wole after all’. While the story itself did
nothing for my literary, story loving spirits – it had all the trappings of a
love tale: lonely man looking into the horizon, meets fly girl in bar, gets her
number on the napkin (yes… very filmic I know) they date, he is stupid enough
not to love her back, he loses her, they break up. Wole goes on to inject
Hollywood meets Nollywood in these types of stories – insert <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">terminalesque</i> disease. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(It’s okay to make up words!). But in writing
this simple story, Wole Talabi consistently highlights that universal human
characteristic that makes us go through life wondering if we’re fitting
properly into the box of definitions with sentences such as: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">“I suppose I would have become a
professional surfer or a lifeguard if those were acceptable things for young
Nigerian man to do with his best years and if I wasn’t so scared of drowning.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Many of the
stories in this anthology do this. They take snippets of everyday life and blow
them up. We see our triumphs and our failings, our losses and our gains. We see
the fragility of humanity behind the cloak of societal expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">There, I Said It</span></i></b><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;"> by Wale Adetula is simply brilliant.
I finished the book last week, but I have gone back to read this story like 25
times. While it’s not my favourite story in the book (No, we’re coming to that).
It’s flash fiction on steroids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The Ballad of Mulikat</span></i></b><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">, is told from the point of view of
Kevwe and shows a day in her life as a Lagos street trader. The importance of
Mulikat to the plot is not very defined and I wanted to see more of her, either
directly or through her relation with the narrator. It didn’t happen till the very
end and by the time it did I was already tired. The story was rather long. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">As much as I
laud the attempt to maintain authenticity of the settings, there were a lot of
expressions/phrases in the story that can only be understood by a Nigerian who
lives in Nigeria. While that might seem very petty, it is important that
stories should be well told and narrated in their proper context in order to
cross borders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first time the word
‘container’ came up I didn’t think of a ‘freight container’, thus I was
surprised that human beings were spilling out of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The next 6
stories take the book to an entire new height of discovery with different
characters. Sometimes, the point of view of the narrator shifted quickly in
some of the stories, but overall, the momentum of the stories were <s>good</s> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">When a writer
spins you into the fabric of her story and you find yourself asking the
question “Am I who I know I am? Or am I who I’m told I am”, then you know that
the writer has done a good job. This was me, after reading Osemhen Akhibi’s Orange
Tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exploring the themes of seeds,
roots, Osemhen weaves the story of a woman whose identity is tied to a tree
planted in her homestead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The troubled
relationship with her mother, was a good string to keep the story moving. It
was also a great way to ensure that the tension was amped to the peak at the
very end. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">The Affair</span></i></b><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;"> by Marilyn Eshikena told the story of
two people, having an affair for 20 years with NO SEX.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They meet for a few hours every year to hold
hands and sing Kumbayah! Well, I made the singing bit up but that’s how I felt
about the believability of that plot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">I will
confess that 3 of the stories didn’t do very much for my pleasant reading
experience. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Ghosts’ by Bankole Oluwole,
‘An Afternoon at the Palms’ by Wale Lawal and ‘Kin’ by Edwin Okolo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">With Ghosts,
I just didn’t understand it. I tried to read it again with fresh bright eyes
the following morning and… still a brick wall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">An Afternoon
at the Palms quickly lost the plot after one page. It didn’t help much that it
ran on and on and on and on and on and on and on. No, seriously the story went
on forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Imagine my
relief when I saw the title of a new story ‘Kin by Edwin Okolo’. I wasn’t very
lucky with this either. The story was littered with ‘Cos’ as a replacement for
‘Because’ and it was very distracting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Then I saw ‘I
just want to lie down in my room off-k’ and it was impossible to take the story
seriously after that. However, I have been told that are acceptable when
they’re used within speech marks. I guess this is where personal preference
comes in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">It seems only
right that I round off this review with my favourite story in the collection: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Apparitions</i></b>
by Gbolahan Adeola. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Apparitions
is the simple story of death and then life. Maybe it’s my fascination with all
things morbid, but there’s something about Apparitions. It is the story of a
regular woman and how she reacts when death knocks at the door of her
household, and takes her precious love. Then, when the grief seemed to take
away the entirety of her sunshine, she realizes that apparitions are not
totally bad, because they give back what was once taken from you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">Many of the
stories in this anthology are powerful. They reflect variety of the young
Nigerian experience and the impact the words we exchange every day can have on
our lives. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">These Words Expose Us: An Anthology</i></b> – life, words, love and
everything in between.</span> </div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-25216838147277995952015-01-05T22:29:00.001+01:002015-01-05T22:30:07.177+01:00Lagos: City of Hustlers, City of Dreams<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lddC_fE6LuY/VKsCHvDLrNI/AAAAAAAAApU/WYPKen--bak/s1600/DSCF2294.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lddC_fE6LuY/VKsCHvDLrNI/AAAAAAAAApU/WYPKen--bak/s1600/DSCF2294.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING!!!<br />
<br />
So, as we roll into this new fabulous year, I'm thinking of better ways to improve my profile... nyeh! Not really but hey... sounds good on the Resolution Sheet.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'll try to blog more often. I bet every slacking blogger says this. But wo, my own... eez condition that use toh make crayfish bend oh jere.<br />
<br />
I hope you had a fantastic Christmas and New Year holiday? Well, I did. It was sooooo chilled out and I ate like food was going out of fashion. Nobody told me to carry my trainers and enter road... biko... I don't wanna 'add'. lol Honestly that expression cracks me up... 'ahn ahn... you've added oh!' Added what? Awon mathematicians!<br />
<br />
Anywayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz today's blog post is something I wrote for my non-fiction class last year. We were asked to write a psychogeographic piece about a place we're familiar with. So, I wrote about Lagos. I woulda written about Ilorin but... nyeh.. I think I have spent more time -- cumulatively in Lagos than out of it. plus I was born there. Hehehe. Lagosian by Origin. Ogbomoshoan by Heritage. Of which my progenitors are even confused as to where they're from sef. Some say my Grandpa migrated from Ilorin to Ogbomosho. My own is... which state is giving bigger Bursary? I coulda claimed Niger State. In Law School northern states were paying big time... Oyo State only gave us 50k. I don't know why my papa didn't just stay in that his born and bred Niger State. We for dey claim home town - Kagara - by now.<br />
<br />
Hey... see how I have digressed!<br />
<br />
Oya let me paste the Lagos article. I hope you enjoy it. Please read, share and leave a comment. Yes, this is a new year of blogging...I gast be doing what other serious bloggers are doing na.<br />
<br />
Ngwa byeeeeee<br />
<br />
Oh and yes, I want to start coming out of the comborduu small small ... so maybe I will start putting my picture on the internet *shudders* okay maybe not now.<br />
<br />
In the meantime... manage my Cheerios and M&Ms<br />
***<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">To imagine that I can
write comprehensively about Lagos is to assume a certain arrogance which is
uncharacteristic of me so I won’t attempt to do that. What I hope to do with
this piece is to give you but a tiny glimpse into the city of my birth – a place
I call home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is fondly referred to as
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eko Akete – Ilu ogbon</i> (translated to
mean, Lagos, the city of wisdom); or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Las
Gidi </i>by young people (The origin of this word is rumoured to be from the
American city, Las Vegas. It is often shortened to ‘Gidi’ – depending on who is
speaking).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When you land at the
Murtala Mohammed International Airport in Ikeja, Lagos, the first thing that
hits you is the pulse of the city. Your measure of the vibe is one thing that
doesn’t change, irrespective of the time of day you arrive. If you land at
night, the view from the sky is a large sprawling sea of darkness with little
specks of light from buildings – in no particular symmetry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nigerians refer to it as the scourge of NEPA.
NEPA is an acronym for the Nigerian Electric Power Authority; or in less formal
circles, Never Expect Power Always. The battle with random power cuts is a
protracted one in Nigeria. It has formed the basis of many election campaign
promises; and with every new regime or political dispensation, visitors to
Nigeria are welcomed by the absence of consistent power supply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Lagos State sits on the
edge of the Atlantic on the west coast of the amazing continent of Africa. It
is this special location that made Lagos commercially attractive during the colonial
era. The sea and air ports therefore made it a magnetic hot pot for Nigerians
from every corner. Lagos is the city of dreams; it is where Nigerians from all
over Nigeria come for hope of a better life. Lagos is the city of firsts!
Either with new music or a new fashion fad, residents of Lagos are always in
the know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Lagos was also the
political capital of the country until the mid 90s when the seat of power was
moved to Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory. There is very little evidence of
the Federal government’s operation in Lagos, but there are various liason
offices at key locations because old habits die hard. People expect to come to
Lagos and get things done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">With respect to property
in Lagos, the houses are made of stone, blocks, sand, and cement. An aerial
view of the old developments will reveal brown corrugated roofs, but as you go
on to the newer developments, you see more modern red roofing sheets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Presently, Lagos does not boast of having any
specific town planning. Areas designated as residential by the colonial masters
have all become industrialized; houses, schools and churches have sprung up in
the last 20 years in areas that were designated to house businesses and
government offices. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Loosely divided by a
10KM bridge built in the 90s, under the military administration of General
Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida, Lagos has its ‘Mainland’ and the ‘Island’. On the
Mainland, we have Ikeja, the State capital. The local and international
airports are situated in Ikeja. Ikeja is also home to Governor’s office. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">There’s not one unifying
style of buildings, as houses of all shapes and sizes spring up on that side of
the Lagoon. It is rumored that real estate is cheaper on the Mainland. However,
that is debatable as rent in the old Government Reserved Areas is just as high
as on the Island. The valuation of property in that area runs into hundreds of
millions of Naira. Personally, I believe that Ikeja GRA is the home of ‘Old
Money’, while areas like Lekki and Ajah are the being touted as the place to be
for the upwardly mobile young professionals – New Money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As with other parts of
Nigeria stricken by the plague of bad leadership, there has been very little
infrastructural development in Lagos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, it is notable that with the commencement of the current
governor’s administration, poles with street names were installed, and lights
were fixed on major highways within the State. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Public transportation in
Lagos was traditionally via black and yellow buses locally referred to as
‘Danfos’. With the new government came the introduction of a better mass
transit system called the Bus Rapid Transport or ‘BRT’ as we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lagosians</i> call it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The colours of the busses were an indication
of the route they plied and they had specific bus stops – this was a welcome
development from what we had when the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Danfos</i>
ran free without any form of regulation or restraint - not to mention conductors
dangling from open doors. Speaking about transportation in Lagos will be
incomplete without the mention of commercial motor bikes locally called
“Okada”. Residents of Lagos are heavily reliant on these bikes because they run
routes that are not catered to by the ineffective bus service. They also are a
welcome respite from the heavy traffic jam situation that is characteristic of
Lagos. If you have an important meeting to get to in Lagos, you have to be open
to the idea of getting out of the comfort of your air conditioned car, into the
hot sunny afternoon and getting an Okada to take you to your destination.
They’re guaranteed to get you there faster than your car or a taxi. The State
government is trying very hard to eliminate these bike riders, however, in the
absence of an alternative; Okadas are in Lagos to stay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">One important aspect of
the history of Lagos is the hub of the slave trade in Badagry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Badagry is a quaint little town very close to
the border of Nigeria and Benin Republique. Badagry is the home of the slave
museum. Relics of the horrific slave trade that took place in the 1900s remain
till today – shackles and cages where people were kept pending their
transport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of Lagosians who live
there now have Portuguese and Brazilian heritage, as their ancestors were
returned from slavery in Brazil. They now have Portuguese names and eat Portuguese
food. This is an area of Lagos called the Brazilian quarters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">On the Lagos mainland,
we have a certain group called the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ilaje</i>
people. They live in houses built on stilts by the bay of Makoko. The Makoko is
a site of heavy pollution as the people live, feed and defecate in the stretch of
water. The residents of Makoko get about in canoes and from an early age, their
children are taught to fish and fend to for themselves within the constraints
of this water. {</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHKLIpz9F5c"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">You might find the BBC Welcome
to Lagos Documentary interesting</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">}<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Many of the young
professionals in Lagos, who can’t afford the steep rent on the Island live on the
Lagos Mainland and commute to the Island for work. The Island is also home to
the rich and vibrant social life of Lagos. It is commonly said that “There’s no
party like a Lagos party”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is very
true. Our love of the champagne fizz as well as our loud music is well known. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Although Lagos Island is
home to one of the oldest cathedrals in West Africa, it is also home to the
future. The architectural advancements are quite daring especially given the below
par infrastructural development. Real estate on the coast of Lagos is valued at
hundreds of thousands of Dollars with more and more foreign investment being
pumped into the development of the skyline of the Lagos Island coast. Yachts
litter the coast of the Lagos Lagoon as well as speed boats for affluent
Lagosians – as will be seen in any coastal city. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">With the completion of
the Eko Atlantic City – the proposed business capital of Africa – Lagos is set
to be the Go-To place for business in the next decade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The streets are narrow,
and where they are wide enough to give access to dual carriage of cars, there
is often double parking and street trading. Street trading is an essential part
of the geography of the city. It is right there along with the incessant
traffic congestion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone is always
selling something. It is called The Lagos Hustle. If you’re not careful in
Lagos, someone will sell the air you’re breathing to you. There’s a running
joke that you can buy anything, from pots and pans, to fruits and vegetables,
on the streets of Lagos. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Being able to navigate
the roads of Lagos is a skill one learns from having lived there for decades.
It comes from knowing how to avoid the thick bottleneck traffic as well as the
pickpockets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, life in Lagos
can get really hectic; from spending hours in traffic, to not being able to
find a restaurant with good customer service. However, whenever, I get away
from it and think I really need a break from it all, I find myself wondering
why everything else is so slow. I wonder why I have to go a long distance to
find someone who is proficient in repairing phones or even a good hair dresser
who knows what style is in and hip. The pulse is unmistakable, it is a
lifestyle. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is in the air and it says
“You Snooze, You Lose!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-4588436647598865662014-10-29T13:01:00.002+01:002014-10-29T13:01:44.575+01:00Birthdays Are No Achievements! Look Into The Mirror<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So, it was someone's birthday on Monday and one wrote something different. Lol One has been told that it's rather depressing. Lol But one wrote honestly and as truthfully as one could muster. Maybe one is truly a sad person inside inside inside.<br />
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One shall let you be the judge of that. Okay?<br />
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<em>You stir; it's the morning of your birthday and that's the first thing that floats into your consciousness. The bed is warm,but your toes are cold - you forgot to wear your socks before sleep came. Blame Blacklist - so engrossed in the show that you were too lazy to grab your cozies. You remember it's your birthday again, and soon your semi-numb toes are a distant memory.</em></div>
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<em>Your phone; you reach for it. Nothing. Check pillow two? Pillow three? Nothing. God, please don't let it have fallen during the night. Argh! You're forced to open one eye. You don't want to, because it means admitting an awareness of this thing called getting older. Oh well! You have no choice, you have to open your eyes if you're going to find your phone. Remember it doubles as your time piece, and you need to know how late you've slept in on what's the beginning of your thirty-third year on earth. For a fleeting second, you wonder whether you should get yourself a watch. You hate the full glare of your phone's LCD - another reason why you can't wait for the iWatch</em></div>
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<em>Your gym; you promised yourself you'd wake up early enough to make the gym 5 times a week. It is part of your self discovery in the art of dedication and tenacity. You think it is a good trait to have when one is in their early thirties. So, you want to do this. For you. Oh My God! 6.30a.m! You panic at the thought of having overslept, then you remember - the clocks went back yesterday. You can make the gym and come back in time to write Banter. Yes, you can!</em><br />
***</div>
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Growing up, I was told over and over and over, that birthdays are no achievements. It was drummed into my ears so many times that I have become that adult who never gets excited about her birthday, or anyone else's. I was told that I neither participated in the decision to bring me into this world, nor did I make any conscious effort to ensure that the birthing was successful, thus, I was not entitled to celebrate any achievement on the 27th of October. So year, rolled into year and I did what I was 'allowed' to do. Be grateful to my creator for the privilege of existence and preservation. I stopped praying for 'long life' for personal reasons. It didn't matter one way or the other - it was more pertinent that the years count for something regardless of their number - something that transcends my lifetime.</div>
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***<br />
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<em>The mirror; at some point in the day you find yourself staring at it. You see the woman staring back at you and you wonder if she's anything like the person inside of you. She looks familiar. Same round head, same natural hair with eroded edges. Lord! when will these edges fill out? You look closer and you see a neck that is longer and more defined than it was 8 months ago. You smile - the first one since the dawn of the day. You remember that this is the slimmest you have been since you were 18. You stand, arms akimbo and you think about the work that needs to be done on your arms. Still, you're pleased with the reward of your hard work and dedication. You tuck in your almost smug smile, you don't want the Universe to think you're a gloating irritant.</em></div>
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<em>The suitcases; three of them littered around your room, waiting for you to give them attention. As much as you hate packing, it has to be done. Another phase of your life is over; you chuckle at the melodrama of it all. As one door shuts, another one opens. Or something along those lines. You can't think that far ahead because you're afraid. You're afraid of the monster of failure. What if you end up being poor for the rest of your life? What if you're that friend who keeps trying to keep her head above the water and nobody bothers to call for a contribution to help dying children? But... you hear it - it's a still small whisper. What if you do make it? What if you do find a way to do what you love to do, and are financially rewarded for it? What if you do make bucketloads of money?</em></div>
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<em>The silence; broken by the loud hum of the kettle which you clicked on because you need your morning fix of coffee. No! Not coffee. You are on a coffee detox. Tea. Green tea. With cinnamon sticks and star anise seeds with a dash of lemon. Okay, more than a dash. A proper squeeze through. But, 'dash' sounds more like what a writer would write. Right? </em></div>
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***<br />
So what exactly are birthdays if they're not to be celebrated as achievements? It's a day for you to take stock - how far you've come, where you are, and where you hope to be.</div>
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I have come to realise that contrary to what was ingrained in me, I can choose a reason to celebrate my birthday. For starters, it's a time for me to bask in the glory of ME!</div>
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Your birthday is that one day of the year when everything you do has a special tone to it. It is that one day when people who love you send you messages and gifts and ensure that you know that someone somewhere loves you. It's that one day when you are totally allowed to be self-centred, because it's your freaking birthday.</div>
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Peace, love & cabbage strips!</div>
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Toodles!</div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-30865617207915653482014-07-30T21:34:00.000+01:002014-07-30T21:35:33.012+01:00Flipping Chekov's "The Kiss"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The past year has sped by so fast! Goodness gracious. Wasn't it just yesterday I was unsure of what a Masters in Creative Writing would be like? It's been an exciting whirlwind. I got on the course determined to come out a bad ass fiction writer. It's hilarious thinking about it because we were warned that this would happen. At the induction meeting (where we were plied with loads and loads of wine) we were told that many of us change our areas of specialization by the time the year was over. They ain't never lied!<br />
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The Creative Writing MA in Swansea is sooo diverse and versatile. I am REALLY glad I came here. Unlike other Creative Writing MAs across the country, the Swansea programme makes sure you do Fiction AND poetry compulsorily. Of course I hated poetry then and I still (almost) hate it now.... but that's not what this post is about. It's about the fact that I did Writing For Radio, I crashed ALL the Writing For Stage classes. and I did Dramaturgy! (where I actually wrote a treatment for a play.) As in, I wrote a Nigerian adaptation for A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen (How bad ass is that? Well it is... lol if you like no gree.) Anyway, I did a lot of things I never thought I could. Ehn hen, I also found out that The Art of The Short Story is NOT beans. That course is almost harder than Long Fiction. There are loads and loads of techniques for writing Short Stories. Hehehe It has only made me a more critical editor. Lol I feel sorry for people who send in submissions for publication at my day job. Because, now I know what I'm looking for and I don't find it I'm just like... nyeh nyeh nyeh! Oh did I mention I did Creative Non Fiction and Pyschogeography as well? Ignore that big name... psychogeography is just a fancy name for writing about your locale... something like travel writing but more like a place where you've very familiar with.<br />
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That is how I wrote a piece about Lagos in that class... one English man who has now relocated to Wales now started saying that he believes I romanticized my LAGOS!!! Imagine the audacity ke! IMAGINE!<br />
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LAGOS where I was born, bread, ( buttered in Ilorin) and then toasted and marinaded gbogbo e gbo egbo e? I was so livid. I asked him if he had ever been to Lagos. Guess what he said? Dude said he had friends who had been there. It felt like my head would explode! LIKEEEE!!!!!!! Don't ever argue Lagos with me... especially not when you're English.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I digress, so today's post is about my version of Anton Chekov's classic story "The Kiss". Please if you like reading, look for it. It's a sheer work of genius. But it's Chekov we're talking about innit! Sha sha....we were asked to take a character from the original piece and write our own version of the story... using any of the techniques we had learned at that time. This was probably halfway through the term.<br />
<br />
I decided to do it in form of a Frame. You know how they say overskill dey kill Ninjah. Ehn hen... that is me gan gan. If they give us assignment like this I will come up with one swaggerlicious idea/ plan and execution. When I now start writing and get halfway I will now be tired.<br />
<br />
Lol Or I'll ask myself God who sent me message???? I always used to get mad props for my creativity sha but yinmu... I know that they always speak positively in this country. Even when you're flopping there'll be someone telling you oh you did 'breeely'nt'. Lol<br />
<br />
Anyway, let me stop talking and paste the story below. Oh, my version of the story is told from Lobytyko's point of view. He wasn't the main character in the original story (shey I said I always like doing over skill). Also I am pasting the raw copy.. as per the one I took to class for dissection. So there is another version that I cleaned up and submitted for my portfolio. I just can't start checking folders to dig it out. Ngwa make una manage this one okay?<br />
<br />
XOXO<br />
A<br />
**************<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is said that one can never
really tell when that pesky cherub, Cupid would strike with its arrow. For
some, it is a slow fire - short, fierce embers which consume one in its
entirety; for others the intensity of the passion burns fiercely, leaving its
victims ensnared. When Lieutenant Lobytko told his grandchildren of how he met
the love of his life, would start by explaining how love works. They would ask
that he quickly dispense with the preamble and jump right into it, they wanted
to hear the story of The Kiss. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Loby, as his friends liked to
call him was a tall, stalwart fellow. Although he was twenty-five years old, he
had a face devoid of hair. When he spoke, it was with a confidence that gave
exuded through his every expression – especially when he was talking about
women. He could tell from a mile ahead when there was someone of the opposite
gender within his radius.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thus, when all the six
batteries of the N—Reserve Artillery Brigade stopped in the village of Myestetchki,
the soldiers knew that Loby would settle into his unofficial role as the
spotter of comely bosoms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Shortly after they arrived, a
man in drab civilian clothes came to their quarters on a strange horse. Loby
would describe the horse in and the awkward way it ambled into the courtyard
with so much flair that his grandchildren would bend over laughing till their
sides hurt. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The strange man on the even
stranger horse brought an invitation for the soldiers to have tea with the
family of General Von Rabbek. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And there, my life was going
to change forever,” he would lower his voice and look pointedly at each child,
letting his gaze linger for a few seconds before he continued.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“The Kiss. Tell us about The
Kiss” They would shriek in unison. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Nineteen officers honoured the
invitation of the good General, with Lobytko leading the way – like a good
scout. “Yes, there must be women here; I fell that by instinct”. He was not far
from the truth as Von Rabbek himself met them at the entrance apologizing for
being unable them to stay for the night. Then he went on to say that his
sister, their children, some brothers and even neighbours were there to visit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The officers settled in to
their new environment, having been told by their house to ‘Make each other’s
acquaintance’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They all seemed to be
quite relaxed as they made their bows and settled to tea, but one of them
looked like he did not quite fit in. His name was Ryabovitch. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Lobytko would pause at this
point in the story, waiting for the reaction. The children would sit up in
anticipation. The fun part was about to start. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ryabovitch was a little
officer who had sloping shoulders and wore tiny spectacles. He never quite
looked like he had a sense of self-worth. Who could blame him? With physical
attributes as he had, and whiskers like a lynx, nobody was surprised that he
kept to himself. Lobytko had noticed that Ryabovitch always had a look of awe
on his face every time the men talked about women. He would watch keenly as his
comrades put their arms around a woman’s waist, while letting their shoulders
be available for a woman’s arm to rest. Loby could tell that Ryabovitch was
fascinated by it all, by women.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Women. There were about six women
in the house. Lobytko’s instincts were right on the mark, but the one that
caught his eye was a fair girl in a black dress. She was almost as tall as
Lobytko with fiercely bright eyes that dared him to take more than was on the
surface. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She wore bright make up and
she had a face that showed that she knew more than the average woman. Her scent
was like that of wild flowers, untamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It suited her perfectly. For every word that Loby said to get her
attention, she would give a little condescending laugh. The setter was
frustrated. How was he to get her to want more of him? Did she not know he was
quite skilled in these affairs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more
he tried to impress her, the more she seemed indifferent to his overtures. Was
this something women in Myestetchki did?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Tell us how you got her to
meet you in the dark room!” The oldest of the children, 13 year old Becca would
pipe up in fascination at this point in the tale. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was during the dance.
Having been made to dance with a scraggy looking lady passed over to him by Von
Rabbek’s son, Loby wondered if he’d ever get a chance to speak to the fair lady
in a black dress. Another chance to show her he was more. So, while he glided
over the parquet floor, he found himself twirling from one woman, to another,
and even to another. None of them, the woman he wanted. He spotted Ryabovitch
near the door, looking at them. Sorry sod. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">No sooner had he thinking of
the pathetic state of his fellow officer, did he get a chance to dance with a
woman in a lilac dress. With one hand on her waist, he danced confidently with
resigning himself to fate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Two doors from the drawing
room” Words so faint that he wasn’t sure he heard it. He jerked his head up,
looking at his dance partner in askance but not wanting to be obvious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“My sister will be in the dark
room, two doors from the drawing room. Go when the men have retired for games”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Lobytko could not contain his
excitement and with every tick of the clock, the anticipation of what lay ahead
of him was impalpable.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What happened after that?
Tell us more!” The excitement rose in the children as well. They wanted to know
how he felt when he saw her. Was it love at second sight? Why was she being coy
before that time? Oh how smart it was of her to have sent a message through her
sister.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Nothing happened. Lobytko
slipped out of the room where the billiards were being played and stepped into
the hallway. There were rooms on both sides of the drawing room; cursing
himself for not asking for more clarity in description, he went on a hunch and
turned right. You can’t be wrong if you go right. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Half an hour after waiting in
the dank, dark room, Lobytko felt himself the victim of a horrible female
prank. He was the Setter. How did he get played? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">They returned to their
quarters and Lobytko longed for a drink. Something, anything to make him forget
the humiliation he had just experienced. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The orderly who had been sent to buy them beer
came back with the announcement that there was no beer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What a fool and a dummy a man
must be not to get hold of any beer! Eh? Isn’t he a scoundrel?” He was furious,
taking his anger out on everybody around him. Determined to get some beer, he
asked Ryabovitch to go along with him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Rabbek, Grabbek, Labbek. I
don’t care to go alone, damn it all! Wouldn’t you like to go for a walk eh?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His sour mood did not improve
and it was visible to all. “You look very melancholy today, Lieutenant Lobytko.
Are you pining for Madame Louphov? Eh?” His General had teased him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was during this time that
confused-looking Ryabovitch, having drunk a lot and had his tongue loosened,
told them about a strange thing that happened to him while they were at the Von
Rabbeks”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“The Kiss!” The children
yelled in unison.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Hearing the narration filled
Lobytko with a mix of emotions. That she did not play a trick on him after all
was a great relief. That she bestowed a kiss, meant for him, upon Ryabovitch
angered, yet pleased him. He could make no sense of it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He found himself saying out
loud, “That’s an odd thing! How strange!...throws herself on a man’s neck,
without addressing him by name… She must be some form of hysteric neurotic”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ryabovitch obtained a kiss
that was clearly meant for him. He was ecstatic. When they returned to
Myestetchki in August, Lobytko could not wait to visit the home of General Von
Rabbek.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Imagine my joy when I saw the
messenger on horseback. Luckily, Ryabovitch was not about. No room for mistakes
a second time around!”<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a></span></div>
</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-25917634556224230942014-07-18T22:23:00.001+01:002014-07-18T22:23:25.780+01:00Project Make Money - Code Name: Charity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<u><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></u></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7LkiQkAg5Y4/U8mQE62RxOI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/CKz0vH0ySOE/s1600/Money+over+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7LkiQkAg5Y4/U8mQE62RxOI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/CKz0vH0ySOE/s1600/Money+over+love.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I moved to Swansea from Nigeria in
August 2013, I had very little to do but watch day time telly. I noticed that
one in every four adverts was a call for help for poor and suffering children
in Africa. Images of Africa filled the screen. Starving children, poor sanitary
conditions and brown water purported for drinking. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As a Nigerian, I have always found it
interesting how Africa is portrayed in the media. It starts from the fact that
the entire continent is always depicted as one country that has had no sign of
advancement and is wracked with poverty and disease. Of course the extreme
success of the movie Lion King has not helped ; I have often been asked if I
see giraffes in the morning. At times when I’m in the mood I explain that I
lived in a metropolis called Lagos and the only time I’ve seen an elephant was
when I went on a safari tour in Durban, South Africa. Other times, I just yawn
and mention that the antelope is the pet I ride to work every morning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, these adverts calling for
charity never stop. Charity, or the notion of it, is a booming business. It is
a concept that appeals to the emotions of people. It is a means for people to
have a sense of participation in bringing change in the little way they can, or
at least pretend that they are. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Charity Begins from Home’, so more Nigerians have
hopped on the Charity bandwagon in the last 10 years than ever before. They are
mostly a crop of individuals who have lived in Europe or America. They have
watched a lot of day time telly and they have been moved by the sight of
starving children. They are incensed and want to do more. There’s a certain
passion that drives them with urgency. ‘Go back home and make a difference’. So
they get to Nigeria and they tell of their plans – ‘Feed 30 Children in 30
Days’, ‘Redeem the Prostitutes on the Streets’ , ‘Clothe the Area Boys’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Having observed the trend with all this
doing good, I’d like to share some tips on how to become a Nigerian
philanthropist.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is 2013 and we live in the age of
fast acting social media. As budding Nigerian philanthropist, you must never
underestimate the power of the hash tag. Tweet and update your Facebook every
other hour. There is something to be said for creating awareness. Besides, your
followers and friends have no idea that children are starving. For if they did,
they won’t tweet so often about large sized meaty deluxe pizzas from Dominos.
It is important that as a Nigerian philanthropist you tweet as often as you
can. Get those hash tags trending. They are the fastest way to getting much
needed help to your targeted demographic. #FeedAStarvingChild.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#OneDressOneChild #BuyABookForTheSlums<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next step is to design a fancy logo.
Nothing says “I’m serious about this cause” like a big logo rich in colour.
Remember your friend who told you he was a graphic artist trying to find work.
Call him up and tell him you have a good cause you need him to champion with
you. Forget that he needs actual money to pay his bills; tell him that his
reward is in heaven and all he needs to do is get creative. Make sure you
emphasize that you do not have any money to pay. There is no point in raising
expectations. It is a not-for-profit venture. Remind him of this fact and tell
him in a soft understanding voice that if you did make money from this
enterprise, he’d be the first you’d call.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With the logo done and dusted, you need
to get yourself stationery. Image is everything, and there’s no better way to
put your best foot forward than the paper on which you write the letter of
introduction. You want the public to know you are the real deal. Nobody
willingly parts with their money unless given a proper incentive. With the
proliferation of charities everywhere, you need to present yourself in the best
light. Set yourself apart by using nice, embossed and fragranced paper. Sadly
these things are a little pricey but consider it as part of running operation
costs. You cannot afford to become cheap especially when it comes to something
as serious as paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is immaterial
that the money spent on stationery can be diverted to the actual cause. Look at
the bigger picture. You want to be taken seriously as a philanthropist and
paper is the way to go.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No charity organization has recorded a
success story without T-shirts. T-shirts are like the double edged sword every
charity needs to stay afloat. The idea of not printing your huge logo, hashtag
or brand name on a soft jersey fabric is simply unimaginative. Splash the name
of your charity boldly in front of the shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You have to publicize the cause as much as possible and nothing says ‘in
your face’ louder than t-shirts. With t-shirts you can take over the world.
Even better, you can clothe volunteers and that in itself is a charitable
deed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>T-shirts are also a universal
fashion statement so if anybody tries to get snotty and refuses to wear one,
tell them how lovely the tees will go well with a pair of Skinnies! A
philanthropist with a sense of what is in – always a hit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Once that is done, you need to organize
a walk. Every charity worth its name and letterhead plans a walk. Organizing a
walk as part of awareness for your cause is imperative. You don’t have to know
why it is imperative, just do it What better way to give people a collective
reason to wear the t-shirts you have spent money on? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another plus side of organizing a walk is the
fact that it helps keep everybody fit. The average Nigerian diet is laden with
carbohydrates. Get people to burn all that palm oil and yam pottage. Organize a
walk today, shed the calories and let your t-shirts and banners do the actual
work of the cause.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love celebrities, or hate them, but know
that they are an essential part of every charitable cause you have heard of. If
you want your cause to have a certain kind of acclaim, then get celebrities on
board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Celebrities are like the flame
that the fireflies of humanity flock towards. Anyone with a good sense of
corporate branding knows to jump on the celebrity wagon. Telecommunications
companies tell you that you your favourite music artiste uses their brand and
so should you. Perfume makers tell you that hot sexy actress who steams up the
big screen achieves it because she wears their scent; so why should you not get
a celebrity to endorse your cause? Think of it as a symbiotic relationship. You
need the A-Listers<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to glam up your
agenda, and the A-listers also need you so they can show their fans that they
are not just gobbling up all those millions we read about on the news. They’re
not just about red carpets and Louboutin shoes. They don’t need to actually
give any money to the cause, they’re like garnishing. Think gourmet, think
charity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You have laid down the ground work. You
have your letters sent out on your nice fancy paper, you’ve got celebrities
tweeting about your cause and wearing your t-shirt of course. There’s one more
thing you need – a fund raising party. By now, interested investors are sending
in cheques, they know you are serious, you have all the trappings of a cause
that knows what it is about. You need to channel some of this money into
organizing a huge fund raising jamboree. Ignore the Fact that you haven’t
bought any actual books for the children in the slums, neither have you taken
any drug addicts off the streets. Remember your priorities. Fund raiser trumps
actual work. Besides, the street urchins have been there for so long that one
more day, week or month won’t hurt. Spend time and money planning this
jamboree. It is going to be the subject of many cocktail parties to come, so
you have to do it in grand style. Everybody knows you spend millions to make
hundreds of millions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Running a charity
is not cheap, start working on planning that party as soon as possible.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next point is very important and it
can never be understated. Do NOT collaborate with existing charity
organizations. It is immaterial that there are existing bodies who are working
tirelessly to reform commercial sex workers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is unlikely that their idea is as brilliant or as unique as yours
anyway. You don’t want to share those overhead costs because in the long run,
it means you will have to split profits. What profits you say? Well, think of
the long term rewards of your good cause. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After all is said and done… no scratch that.
After more is said and shown than done, take pictures. How else will all your
efforts be etched in the sands of time if you do not have photographs of all
the work you have done towards the advancement of this cause? High resolution
photos of you hugging a hungry child; photos of you on the long walk on Third
Mainland Bridge… all to raise awareness for the orphans of Lagos. Take a few of
your celebrity endorsers and visit the Heart of Gold Home for Orphans. Make
sure photos of the 4 boxes of noodles and 3 bottles of vegetable oil you take
with you are well captured in the frame. Remember, that nothing is as timeless
as photos. People have to remember that you gave of yourself to this worthy
cause.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In conclusion, whether you are at home,
or abroad, the dynamics of starting and running a charity remain the same.
Charities remain one of the most profitable ventures everywhere in the world,
and the best part of it is that they are tax free. The tag ‘not-for-profit’ is
the biggest part of the scam. In Nigeria, there is hardly any form of audit or
avenues for accountability and as such, emotions are played upon and
someone,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>somewhere is smiling to the
bank. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This Piece was originally published in This Day Style </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-88349305179585879152014-05-21T10:29:00.001+01:002014-05-21T10:29:49.930+01:00Beach Solitude<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i0VVV2WmK3w/U3xx9k9YMvI/AAAAAAAAATI/Kwc2u52lj7A/s1600/20140324_080921.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i0VVV2WmK3w/U3xx9k9YMvI/AAAAAAAAATI/Kwc2u52lj7A/s1600/20140324_080921.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Take
the walk, see the sights, smell the air,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">See
the lights and feel the smouldering heat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Wide
expanse of brick and sand abounds in the city.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dense
population and busy streets; but I hear it - </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">in
the stillness, I feel the hum. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stirring
the senses, the city heat hums in short pulses.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Floats
in the air, buried in the earth, flickering in the fire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
sheen of sweat that trickles down your nape.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thirty-five
degrees is normal weather</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not
boiling, just perfect – can one ask for more?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">With
constant heat, the temperature shifts only slightly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Skin
burning but not evident from the dark membrane.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Shall
we lay by the sea shore?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nothing
beats the cooling effect of the beach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Serenity
comes with the bliss of cool blue hues.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Wigs
tossed aside, lawyers respond to the Bar's call.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Sipping
on happy juice, tensions and tongues loosen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They
seek solace in the secrets of the sand, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Women
kneel in supplication towards the tide -</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Crucifixes
of wood and stainless steel wave in the air.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They
pray to the spirit of the sea</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">‘Cleanse
our land, purify our city’, they say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Corruption
spreads like gangrene;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">With
no expectation for working systems,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They
turn to the Sea Salt deity for help.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead
of clean white sand, prayer garments pristine abound.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Soon,
the goddess of the sea will answer – soon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Knees
scuffed daily in penitence, a hope of salvation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Surely
she is strong enough to bring change – wild and wet</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Waves
come, bringing grit and shells but no relief.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
we pray harder they say, whiten our garments;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Silk
not satin - glittery and pure as sheep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
so they who believe adhere like flock.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hope
lies in the Bar Beach with imprints of our knees.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dark
cloudy skies, pregnant with thunderous rain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
there is no shelter from the torrents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
boulders act as breakers but fail,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Flooding
the streets with no restraint.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dirt
litters doorsteps with deposits of the sea.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
time no lives are lost but we wonder.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Is
the goddess angry with us?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Her
reflection she sees in that tall glass building,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Across
the road – right there opposite the beach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
sea rushes forward towards the reflecting tower,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Housing
suites of offices – prime real estate of seaside value.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">‘Break
it down City Council, don’t anger the mermaid’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
know her rage brings destruction.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
goddess is more powerful than the government.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead
of going to the polls, we prayed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We’re
wise enough not to incur her wrath, yet she rages.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Perhaps
it is the horse rides on the sand.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Could
it be the trading, garish clothing and loud music?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Atlantic - sometimes serene, other times raging.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Around
the world maybe, where it is cooler</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Bar
Beach is anything but quiet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Drowning
in the booze, I scoffed at the Lady Celestial.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Back
at the cross impaled in the sand; </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Grateful
to the goddess for sparing her,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
another day of mercy and grace at Bar Beach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
only she would understand the tides and stay away.</span></div>
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Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-61014567898538260462014-05-08T15:35:00.002+01:002014-05-08T15:37:59.782+01:00#BringBackOurGirls: Lend Your Voice, Don't Stay Silent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A Nigerian guy and his Caucasian girlfriend moved into our house last weekend. Last night as they were having dinner, she asked him if he had heard of the over 200 girls that were taken from Nigeria. He said he had,’since last week’. Then she said… “but it’s in the news because nobody seems to be doing anything about finding them”. She added that international celebrities are lending their voice to asking questions about bringing them back. The guy’s response was: “It’s good for them”. I nearly choked on my salad. I wasn’t sure I heard him properly, neither did his girlfriend, because she said: “I don’t understand”. He clarified, “It’s Hausa people killing themselves. They should go and sort out their problems.”
WHAT?
I mean, I’ve seen stupid comments like this on Twitter and even in the comments section on blogs but I never imagined I’d meet a human being who actually thought like this. His voice had so much conviction. “Hausa people killing themselves?” I was trembling in anger.
My father was born and raised in Niger State. He was born in Wushishi, grew up between Pandogari and Minna. He went to secondary school in Jos and uni in Zaria. He only came to the south in his 30s. My mother is a Jos girl through and through. For all intents and purposes, my parents are Northerners. I am a Yoruba girl with Northern parents. That statement made my blood boil. “Hausa people are killing themselves?” “It’s good for them?” If there are many more people who reason like this then what are the chances that our girls will be found?
Here lies the thrust of all our problems in Nigeria. The disunity is deep and real. It’s far reaching, and I wonder if we can truly see ourselves as one – especially in trying times as this. These missing girls could be your kids, or my kids. They could be you or me. When the Nyanya bomb went off, there was no marginalization of religion, or tribe – it was a mass murder, for which nobody has been held accountable. These injustices prevail while we sit, do nothing and pray for the best.
There are protests organized across Nigeria today. Here’s a chance for you to lend your voice to something. If you are unable to join the protest, tell someone about it. If you have access to the internet, use that tool to help bring change. We cannot underestimate the power of social media.
Yesterday evening I saw a comment on Tiwa Savage’s Instagram page stating that she should have changed her name to Tiwa Balogun and not Tiwa Savage. In the bigger scheme of things, someone is more concerned about Tiwa’s change of name or lack of it therein? We need to be able to prioritize. What is important to us as a people? What is the basis of our value system?
While we sit and complain about whether patriarchy should still be the prevalent value system, our economy is being eroded terribly; innocent lives are lost and our standard of living keeps dropping.
While we complain about whether ‘celebrities’ are lending their voices to causes, we don’t realize that we’re not doing anything in our little corner. If you think a celebrity is just using a cause to improve his stats with his fans, think about the fact that he/she is actually doing one Indomie pack more than you – who is doing nothing.
Every little thing counts… even if it means telling one person that it’s not about Hausa people killing themselves, then you’ve done something.
If you’re in Lagos and you can join the #BringBackOurGirls protests, please do so. If what you can do is buy a pack of bottled water for those who are protesting, then do something. If what you can do is spread the word about the protests, then by all means… spread the word.
But, please let’s not stay silent. This is about you. Let’s do this for the Chibok Girls. Those girls have faces, they have dreams, they have people who love them. They’re not just statistics. They’re not just ‘Hausa people’.
Let’s bring back our girls.
***
Originally written for BellaNaija.com</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6247171173649185634.post-75778994913286545442014-05-08T15:14:00.003+01:002014-05-08T15:15:34.900+01:00The Delight of Pembrokeshire<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One of the best things about doing a Masters in Creative Writing at Swansea Uni is the teaching staff. It was one of the decisive elements for me with regards coming for the course and so far I have had no regrets. So it was with great joy that I received the information that one of my tutors was having a production of one of his plays done in Pembrokeshire – and we were invited. Awesome.
As part of the Dramaturgy module, we were expected to see as many plays as possible, to enable us broaden our perception of dramatic writing and production. Going to see this play up in Pembrokeshire was like being in Fun School, and this brought out the 16 year old in me. Arrangements had been made for us to spend the night at the Druidstone hotel. We were getting a neat deal for a night in a cottage up at the hotel, and we rescheduled our Monday plans to allow us spend a luxuriously lazy day up in the countryside.
Now, as an international student, the extent of my sights and sounds of Wales was just Swansea and Cardiff. There was the occasional stare at the map in wonderment at the idea of places like Bangor, but for me, Swansea a pretty good estimation of Wales. How terribly myopic.
That Sunday, together with 3 other lovely ladies, I went on my first adventure outside my Swansea cocoon. I had planned that I was going to have my earphones plugged in my ear and I’d spend the 2 and half- hour ride peering at my Kindle. I mean, what exciting thing could hold my attention for the length of the ride? From coach ride experiences, I knew watching the unending stretch of black tar with white markings was no productive use of time. However, the ride to Pembrokeshire was different because as we drove further away from the city, the beauty of the countryside hit me. I wanted to know more.
The clear blue skies met the lush green fields in the horizon in a sprawling display of colour. It felt like nature was showing off and there was no better evidence of it as there were long stretches of fields with lambs grazing and sheep adding light speckles of white against landscape. It was indeed a good day to be out there, and it opened my eyes to how limited one can be if one does not go out there.
With school and other lifestyle adjustments, it’s extremely hard to take time out to see beyond the university community and city. However, the entire experience of being so far away is lost if one doesn’t explore beyond one’s oyster. I chided myself with these words as the fields rolled on both sides of the roads.
When we got to the little town of Haverfordwest, I asked if we could do this more often. But we had only just started. We looped through the narrow windy roads of the town as we tried to navigate ourselves through Little Haven, and Broad Haven to get to our hotel. I had been told that the Druidstone was a hotel by the sea but nothing prepared me for the immense beauty of the Irish sea.
I soaked in the sights of the towering grass and moss covered hills. Beside the hills were sharp crags and cliffs against which the force of the winds and the tide of the sea created a beautiful contrast of the ephemeral and the solid. Because right there, standing by the edge of the cliff, the waves, sand and skies transported me beyond the physical. There are no accurate words to describe the way the bluish green tones of the beach juxtaposed against the brown and grey of the cliffs. I wanted to be as close to the sea as possible. This was nothing like Swansea... it was like being let into an intricate Welsh secret. I wanted to be there forever.
That Sunday night, as I watch the talented Welsh actor, Richard Elfyn, work his magic on the stage at the Druidstone, my heart yearned for the possibilities for creativity. It was creativity that could only be birthed by being in a place so wonderfully kissed by nature.
At 7am the following morning, I slipped into my running shoes and headed for the beach. Walking along the trail, I imagined the people who had walked this path before me. I wondered about their lives, and their dreams. I wondered if they looked out in the sea and felt its powerful allure. I wondered if they told their children that the highland cows were special to them. I wondered if the farm hands that cared for the ponies looked into the beautiful skies and dreamt of a brighter future. I wondered if they realized how totally blessed they were to experience the Pembrokeshire Delight.
After that trip, I came to the conclusion that it would be remiss of me to end my time as an international student at Swansea University without exploring more parts of Wales. My trip to Pembrokeshire was an eye opener. It said to me that I could find beauty, peace and joy in the simple things.
The Pembrokeshire Delight was a perfect amalgam of these simple things.
***
This piece was originally written by me for The Swansea Waterfront</div>
Eknoredahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09476096673590532683noreply@blogger.com0